 I watch “Gutfield”, a late-night, conservative-leaning comedy and talk show that relies heavily on the political events or the day as fodder for their segments. I will grant you, it’s not the best way to end your day because it’s more of the same 24/7 news cycle that sensationalizes EVERYTHING and only stirs up sentiment against the ‘other side’ that is already well established. Right-leaning or left-leaning, news is programming that’s meant to sell something and it’s always more than just the news of the day. Most of us prefer our own echo chambers.
It’s also crude with language that is sporadically bleeped out and a (too much) sexual inuendo. I confess. As a man in his late sixties who has grown up continually being berated, bashed, belittled, and seriously marginalized by liberal pundits of television as the ‘bane of social existence’, (white, Christian, hetero-sexual, conservative, etc.) I find some sense of justice in finally watching a late-night show that is ‘dishing it out’ to the other side. We (conservatives) haven’t had a voice in the late-night television markets since before Saturday Night Live began and that’s 50+ years ago. I like “Gutfeld” for the same reason I like Trump: The both fight back against the squeaky wheels that have dominated the legacy media. They are FAKE NEWS and “Gutfeld” leads all late-night comedy in terms of total viewership as does Fox News in the cable and digital markets. Most of the above is just a cathartic expression of confession. What I really wanted to talk about here is a recent monologue on “Gutfeld” about men returning to faith.[1] He references a recent Gallup poll that says 42% of YOUNG men say that religion is very important in their lives.[2] This is a sharp increase from only a few years ago. What I found even more interesting was Gutfeld’s take on the ‘why’ of this trend. He suggests that it’s young men pushing back on identity politics. For the same reasons I shared above, most men are sick of being blamed for literally everything that is wrong in the world. We are especially tired of being considered toxic to culture and the purveyors of patriarchal societies which are tyrannical and oppressive. We have been considered a cancer to the very ecosystems that support us since the rise of feminism. The chaos that has been wrought on society as a result of men being relegated to the back of the bus or worse, being thrown under the bus altogether is starting to wear thin…FINALLY. Identity politics may bring an ephemeral rush of recognition to people who cry wolf because they ‘feel’ disenfranchised, but only leaves you feeling anxious and….here’s the big thing as it relates to men and the boy crisis….without PURPOSE. Identity politics has never contributed anything to the health of men (or anyone for that matter) especially when that identity is placed in anything other than who the Bible says we are. It is a dog chasing its tail. The church has a great opportunity in this resurgence of men expressing interest in spiritual things and institutions. It was best stated by Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson in an article entitled, “Message to the Christian Churches”[3] It is referenced in the footnote below. In it, Peterson states in regards to purpose and identity: “Men (and boys) have been led to believe that every deep impulse that moves within them that moves them out into the world for the adventure of their lives, even that impulse drawing them to women, is nothing but the manifestation of a spirit that is essentially satanic in nature.” As Peterson goes on to say, this is not only false, it is un-true, which may sound redundant. But he means, it couldn’t be further from the truth as to be more false. This level of falsehood must come from the pit of Hell itself and requires the church, as the bastion proclaiming Truth, to stand against. “The Church is there to remind people, young men included, that they have a woman to find; a garden to walk in; a family to nurture; an ark to build; a land to conquer; a ladder to heaven to build; and the utter catastrophe of life to face stalwartly in truth, devoted to love and without fear.” That’s purpose, purpose and more purpose. God has a purpose for men and it begins when he assigned them their gender at conception. The time to invite the young men back is now. Let them know they are welcome in our churches. It’s time to refill the void that has been left in them from the last 15 years of social media proliferation and social media algorithms. Gutfeld says identity politics has erased the curiosity for the mysteries of the world. Instead of seeking out commonalities, it immediately divides us. (Just like the evil notions of CRT before that…thanks to Mr. Obama.) You are defined by your sexuality; your political views; your race or gender, your philosophical leanings; your weight; your experiences; your labels. You. You. You. It’s never we or us. Once you have identified yourself, you expect everyone else to bow to that. None of these identities have anything to do with responsibility. I have rights because I’m trans. I have rights because I identify as a cat. I have rights because I’m a woman. I have rights and no responsibilities. And thus, the long night begins. Going back to Peterson’s words above, everything about our true identity has to do with responsibility. We are not just the children of God. We have responsibilities as children under God’s sovereign plan for our lives. My pastor used to say that once you have become a Christian YOU have no rights. (Not here, anyway) We are indeed all slaves to something. The Bible says we are doulas or bondservants. We have been bought and paid for with a price. We belong to Jesus Christ and He alone determines our identity. (“For I am crucified with Christ therefore I no longer live but Christ in me.” Galatians 2:20) This is the message that men need to hear now more than ever: We are not part of warring clans defined by some small aspect of who we are vying for supremacy in a world order. We are not playing Hunger Games for morons. We are a part of something much greater than even this world, that requires we get up and take responsibility for our lives, which are genuinely part of a great(er) adventure. So perhaps young men are returning to faith. Good. Invite them to church and tell them we are very glad to have them back. Flipping the script on people to let them know that this world isn’t even as real as the spiritual world we live in (now) and all that implies (cue the Matrix) will give their lives meaning. Real meaning and real purpose. “If we endure then we will also reign with him.” (2 Timothy 2:12) At Treign Up we are training up future kings. (For more on the idea of purpose and the meaning of life, I suggest my book, “The Funnel: The Meaning of Life in View of Eternity” which is available on Amazon.) [1] Greg Gutfeld, Gutfeld!, April 17, 2026, Fox News. [2] Gallup, “Rise in Young Men’s Religiosity Realigns Gender Gaps,” Gallup News, 2026 [3] Jordan B. Peterson, “Message to the Christian Churches,” video, July 12, 2022, YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7ytLpO7mj0.
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 I just returned from a mission trip in Jamaica. Despite far-reaching travel in my life, I had never been to this tiny Caribbean Island. It is an island nation situated in the Caribbean Sea, specifically within the Greater Antilles, south of Cuba and west of Haiti. It is the third largest island in the Caribbean and is considered part of the West Indies.
I was charged with leading a team of 9 doing a Kid’s Crusade there. We were using one of my Vacation Bible School programs called “Welcome to the Stone Age”. It’s a tried-and-true program with a strong evangelical message using the theme of ‘rocks’ to share the Gospel arc. VBS is something I do pretty well. I’ve been developing my own programs for 25 years and travel extensively during the summer to different churches, partnering with the church to reach children in the community. So, I have a good bit of experience to fall back on. However, I was not quite prepared for what happened on the first day of the crusade. We were all very excited and ready to go that first morning. We arrived the night before and set up. I felt confident that the limited audio-visual equipment would be enough to see me through the week. What I first noticed was that there was a larger-than-usual older group in the audience. They were seated in age groups and so they were in one section. This would be ages 12-16, somewhat older than the age I prepare for. And they had their cell phones. Normally, that would be a non-starter with me. No cell phones in the sanctuary. I require kids to stand during worship whether they participate or not. It’s not negotiable. I talk about this extensively in my book “Points for Praise: Putting Kids on the Path to Worship”, available on Amazon. However, I was not in a position to make demands as I was there by invitation as part of a larger team. They did NOT participate in worship. Most of them sat and played games on their phones. After the large group session, they were my first rotation in Bible, which I teach. I asked them to come up to the front and sit on the floor. They flatly refused saying it was too dirty. One girl said she was allergic to dust. This is almost laughable when you consider their living conditions. I can guarantee you that the church floor was the cleanest thing they would be sitting in all week. I was in a combat zone. The girls in this group were the worst, but I got the impression that the boys would have enjoyed it if I had started making demands. Later, the pastor agreed saying that they are just waiting for an opportunity to push back on authority. He referred to it as a normal part of being independent. In my thinking, it is either rebellion or defiance. This was defiance because of their age and their motives. Defiance is a tricky thing in teenagers. There is a fine line between being independent and being disrespectful. This is not an article on that subject, so I’ll leave it there. As I considered this matter and made adjustments in my approach for the week (seeking counsel from church leaders there in Jamaica), I realized that the REAL issue is FATHERLESSNESS. It is an epidemic in Jamaica. (NOTE: Much of what follows is information taken from an article by Hayley Headley entitled, A Fatherless Nation: Headley, Hayley. “A Fatherless Nation.” Justice for All, January 31, 2021.) While there have been very few dedicated studies about the issue of fatherlessness, it is estimated that 47% of Jamaica’s children live in single-parent homes with their biological mothers. Additionally, the number of households headed by women continues to rise as men erode entirely from the family structure. The impact of this on children, their socialization, and the country’s future has been a point of discussion for many years, but it’s often tabled in favor of attempting to address more pressing matters, like crime. Based on the level of defiance that I experienced and lack of strong male leadership in the home, it is not hard to image that this is a leading cause of crime in the nation. In 2014, Peter Bunting, the Minister of National Security, declared that fatherlessness was driving much of the crime that plagues Jamaica’s streets. This is the same reason for the Boy Crisis in America, one that we talk about extensively in our book, “Boys Have a Dam Problem: Examining the Faults that Have Put Our Boys in Crisis.” (Also available on Amazon) Of the four primary ‘faults’ that have destabilized the family foundation, the lack of good father figures in the home is the biggest factor. In his paper on Black fatherlessness in the Caribbean, David Samuel Green pinpoints colonial oppression during slavery as the first crack in the structure of Black families.[1] At the time, they weren’t allowed to form families, and if they did, plantation owners would sell one or both of the parents to keep those ties severed. As a result, Jamaican men have been long removed from the concept of fatherhood. As fatherlessness begets fatherlessness, the crack that was split open centuries ago has widened and deepened into the modern chasm that now divides our homes. One of the ladies at the church compound who was a missionary to Jamaica from Quebec, noted that Jamaica has long been noted for its strong maternal influence in the home. For whatever the reasons are, it is not God’s BEST plan for the family and the absence of a father-figure should not be the default for any reason. I’m not chastising. I understand this is a serious problem in MANY cultures. It’s just not good for the children and especially the boys. This is an anthem in Treign Up. As fatherlessness begets fatherlessness, so goes the culture into poverty. When the family unit breaks down, boys will look to gangs for affirmation and acceptance that a father should be showing. The spirit behind fatherlessness is an impoverished spirit; not only social poverty but spiritual poverty as well. I applaud the men in that church who stand in the gap for the boys in their communities: Pastor Vernon Allen; Pastor Damien; Pastor Lemarc Allen. I thank them for giving young boys in Jamaica a model and someone to look up to as they grow in wisdom, stature, and favor with both God and men. As for the rest of the week at VBS, I was able to make adjustments in the way I approached these teens during the week. On the last day of the crusade, I was able to present the Gospel through my Gospel arc using rocks and a role play exercise that demonstrates the reality of a decision to follow Christ. The presentation was crystal clear (from my perspective) and several of the teens made decisions that day to ask Jesus to save them from their sinful ways. I’m thankful for that, but more thankful for the men who are there who will be able to help guide them on the journey ahead. [1] Green, David Samuel. Differential Pathways of Fathering and Fatherlessness in Afro-Caribbean Families. PhD diss., University of Guelph, 2018. The evidence is insurmountable. Families without Fathers falter. The role of the intentional father in the traditional family unit is the single greatest factor in determining the fabric of culture. This is magnified in the life of boys. It has been our contention since the beginning of Treign Up that the lack of intentional fathers in the home is the leading contributor to the boy crisis in culture. When I say "boy crisis", I refer to the tsunami that has hit western culture in the last fifty years leaving boys far behind in their development; development in all areas of growth. Treign Up, our foundation for this issue, has done several things to hold back the dam that is cracking. We discuss this extensively in our book "Boys Have a Dam Problem: Examining the Faults that Have Put Our Boys in Crisis." Besides our school, "Treign Up Academy", we have three annual events that we promote to bring boys and men together in community that encourages affirmation and blessing of a boy on his journey to manhood. One of those events is "The Tournament". This weekend retreat format has been in held at Camp Kehukee in Petersburg, VA for the last four years. This 223-acres facility has a lodge, a large fish pond, fully stocked, recreation area, pavilions and more. For the last four years, we have modeled a weekend loosley based on a weekend retreat that I brought my own boys to every year when they were growing up. Our event, "The Tournament", fosters an environment that brings dads and sons together in competitions with other family tribes. It is a fun-filled, fully-packed schedule of fellowship, firepits, and field days that culminates in crowning a new Tournament Champion every year. This year's champs were Ben, Koen, and Malachi Smith.  The seven competitions over the weekend consist of events that fathers and sons do together or combine their scores together for individual sports. These events are: Paper Football; Marbles; Fishing Derby; Frisbee Golf; Corn Hole; a Skills Challenge; and Putt-Putt. This year's skills challenge was small, handheld tools. The boys spent a couple hours on one day learning how to measure and mark a board; Use a hand saw to cut a straight line on a 2x4; How to level and plumb; How to use a hand-held drill, fit the correct bit and drill and screw into a board; How to hammer a nail into a board; How to use a ratchet and socket set, box wrenches, and adjustable wrenches. After some master classes on Saturday, the boys went through an obstacle course need to accomplish all six of these objectives. The class began with a safety briefing and presentation of safety equipment for each boy to include: mask, ear plugs, safety glasses, and work gloves. 20 men and 28 boys representing 15 families spent the weekend together as a community of men affirming and blessing these boys in their manhood, masculinity, and march to destiny. We used a little AI to generate our theme song, "Welcome to the Tournament" and a line that I turned over and over in my mind was "This is where Father's raise up KINGS." Truly, only a company of men can affirm boys in their masculinity and our culture has gone exceedingly soft in raising up boys. A spirit of deception and confusion has left 'gender identity' on the table as if it was something you choose to eat off a menu. At Treign Up, we believe your gender is determined at the moment of your conception by God and it is intricately tied into calling and destiny. Both Friday and Saturday night we sit around the fire sharing stories and eating smores, but this is also a strategic time for the blessing and affirmation of our boys by the men in their lives. While every Dad has a strategic moment to bless and affirm their boys, this year for the first time, we were able to add the second of our three ceremonies to the weekend.  The Ceremony of the Scroll is a formal moment to recognize a boy's entrance into puberty and affirm the changes ahead on his path to manhood. It is a formal ceremony steeped in reflections of ancient cultures that observed these rites of passage and filled with biblical references to God's purpose and plan for manhood. It is a special night that we mark this occasion and for the first time in our short history, we had three candidates for this Ceremony. And while the boys were blessed, it is always my special honor to watch the younger boys watch these boys receive this special recognition. I can see, in their eyes, a hopefulness that they too may get to hear their fathers speak over them the same way some day. These are inescapable truths that have been neglected by God's people and we at Treign Up are trying to fill the gap, at least in the people around us. For me, it is a labor of love. At my age (68), I have had the wonderful privilege of raising my boys in such an environment. Now, with 4 grandSONS I have the privilege of being part of this same journey with them and I will not squander it. We must not squander the role we play as father, grandfathers, uncles, mentors, friends in speaking the necessary words into the minds of the pilgrims who journey after us. The men who attended this weekend INVESTED their resources in this pursuit. Their efforts were not in vain nor will their investment fail to gain interest. We are Raising up Kings. Who wants to wear the crown?   What Season is Fatherhood?
I used to teach creativity classes for people that worked with children. I would tell them that our creativity comes from Image Deo (Image of God) that is stamped on each of us by the finger of God. It is the thing, in my humble opinion, that separates us from all other living things. That being said, I would encourage all in my classes that the potential for creativity lives in all of us, although it will be expressed in many different ways. However, we should never say we are NOT creative. The other thing people want to do is compare their creativity with someone else’s; a ‘critical eye’ in destroying creativity. It was easy for someone to say to me, “You’re so creative” after they saw one of my storytelling ideas. Well yes and no. The difference tended to be that I was looking for ways to use my creativity (in telling and teaching stories) and they were not. It was really that simple. That’s a long lead in to how I stumbled upon this article on ESPN. You see, since I write for Treign Up, I’m constantly looking for information that discusses the lost boy crisis in our culture or its leading cause: fatherless families. I’m going to include it here in its entirety because I can’t fathom saying it better myself. Inside a tiny courtroom in a tiny (population 202) Mississippi town (recently), the football world awaited a decision on the college eligibility of Ole Miss star quarterback Trinidad Chambliss. Chambliss would eventually be granted an injunction against the NCAA that would provide him with a sixth year of eligibility and send him back to Oxford as a Heisman favorite for the championship-contending Rebels. The NFL draft would have to wait another year. Yet for all the significance of the decision, the most passionately discussed item to emerge was about ... fatherhood? Part of Chambliss' argument was that in 2022, a severe case of tonsillitis significantly impacted his sleep and caused him to not see any on-field action, entitling him to a medical redshirt season. Ole Miss quarterbacks coach Joe Judge, formerly the head coach of the New York Giants, was called in to testify for Chambliss. One of the questions was about the importance of sleep for football players. Judge decided to lean on his experience in both the pros and college and discuss how he handled players who had a child born during the season -- and their significant others. "We would have to educate," Judge said of the conversations he would have with the baby's mother. "This is always a tough conversation to have. It's not even popular. "We would have to educate significant others who may have been pregnant during the season or have a baby during the season," Judge continued. "And you have to educate them on, 'You have this baby in the middle of season, that father has to play good football, right? It's a day-by-day production business. He has to be ready to perform and go out there and play ... You need to let him sleep. He needs to be in another room, detached.'" "You have to explain to the mother like, 'Hey, listen, he ain't waking up for midnight feedings. After the season, he's full-metal jacket. You do whatever you want with him. He can change every diaper. But in season, he's got to have different priorities,'" Judge concluded. Football coaches, they don't just teach the game, they teach life lessons ... from 1948. Let's give Joe Judge a little grace here. The married father of four is known in football for his decency and for being extremely family-oriented, which isn't universal in that business. Testifying can also be nerve-racking, and given a do-over, he'd probably have left that analogy out or at least added further explanation. He was trying to make a point to help his player get an injunction; he certainly didn't expect it to go viral. And look, if one parent wants to go through the meat grinder of handling every single middle-of-the-night feeding, diaper change and so on, all so the other parent can rack out in another room 10 hours a night because he has to play Arkansas next week, hey, that's up to the couple. Or maybe what Judge was suggesting -- given how much money college players, let alone his former NFL players, earn -- was to hire a night nurse or get family help to ease the burden. That said, a passionate debate about fatherhood erupted. "Don't listen to this, young men," DeMarvion Overshown, a Dallas Cowboys linebacker (and father of two boys) wrote on social media above a video clip of Judge's comments. "Be there for the mother of your child and let the rest take care of itself. "Those midnight feedings turn into financial freedom, because nothing will inspire you more than being a great father," Overshown concluded. Overshown couldn't be more correct about that. Being a father isn't about being one when it's convenient and you're properly rested. It's about being there for the hard stuff, and there will be more hard stuff than a new dad can even fathom, far harder than 2 a.m. wakeups (little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems). Those early moments are about connecting with a child that you love more than you could have ever imagined, a bond that will refocus your entire world to the point where you would do anything for them, including pushing to become the best version of yourself. That includes trying to embrace maturity and accountability, focus and perspective. It can drive you to be a better student, better worker, a better friend and certainly a better partner. Remember, one of the most important thing you will ever teach your boys is how well you love their mother. There is no doubt that proper rest helps athletes, but so can exchanging selfishness for selflessness and teamwork. Showing a child respect for their mother may be the most important thing you can do. Balancing work and home is one of the great challenges of life, whether the office is a sold-out football stadium or not. Providing for your family is part of every father's job, but providing means far more than just money. Those midnight feedings tend to produce midnight lessons you can't learn any other way. Wetzel, D. (2026, February 13). Wetzel: A coach’s lessons on fatherhood… from 1948. ESPN. https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/47921795/coach-lessons-fatherhood-1948 As I mentioned in my last article, my father passed away recently. The day before that my neighbor’s father passed on. Last week, dear friends put down a family pet. Death is very much a part of our lives. Benjamin Franklin is noted as saying ‘only two things are certain: death and taxes.’ Statistics tell us 150,000 people die everyday. That’s over 50,000 per hour. Death is part of life.
My son and his family were not able to bring my grandchildren to my father’s funeral. When I was coming home, he told me that they had a ‘service’ for Pap-Pap. My oldest grandson expressed that he would have liked to told Pap-Pap goodbye because my father had been ‘nice to him’. The whole experience gave me pause to think about shepherding children through grief. A normal grieving process involves a fluid, individual journey through intense emotions like shock, denial, anger, sadness, and eventual acceptance, but not necessarily in a linear order, often including physical symptoms, and requiring patience as there's no set timeline, with some experiencing "waves" of feelings and others feeling numb or detached before gradually integrating the loss and rebuilding their lives. I have always said that grief is the price we pay for love. The cost is high but it’s worth it. Children, however, do not grieve the same as adults do because of cognitive development. Younger kids express it through behavior and regression, while older children and teens use play, more verbalization, or even risky actions, often experiencing grief in short bursts or re-grieving as they develop new cognitive skills. Their grief is shaped by developmental stages, leading to unique expressions like magical thinking in preschoolers or adolescent social withdrawal, highlighting the need for age-appropriate support like play therapy for younger ones and open dialogue for teens. Here are some insights into how cognitive development may shape grief by ages:
1. Tell the truth—simply and gently Children need honesty, but in age-appropriate language.
2. Name both grief and hope Christian faith gives us a both/and, not an either/or.
3. Be concrete about heaven, without speculation Children think literally. Stick close to what Scripture clearly teaches. You might say:
4. Let them see your grief This is especially important. When children see a parent cry without falling apart, they learn:
5. Expect uneven reactions Young children may:
6. Invite questions—and don’t rush answers When a child asks: “Will you die too?” A faithful response might be: “Yes, someday—but I don’t expect that to be for a long time. And no matter what, God will always take care of you.” That reassures without lying or overwhelming them. 7. Use simple Scripture and prayer Choose short, concrete passages, not abstract theology. Helpful ideas:
8. Keep routines—but mark the loss Normal routines create safety. Small rituals create meaning. Examples:
9. Reassure them about guilt and causation Children often assume responsibility without saying so. You may need to say explicitly:
10. Trust God’s gentleness with children Jesus welcomed children as they were, not as miniature adults. You are not trying to give them a perfect theology of death—you are:
Besides the actual passing of familial loved ones, you can also consider other ways to introduce the concept of death and dying to your children:
· The Bible doesn’t clearly say animals go to heaven the same way people do · God loves what He made and is good and fair You might say: “God gave us our pet as a gift. We thank Him for that gift, and we trust God with what happens next.” If your child asks, “Will I see my pet again?”, a wise response is: “The Bible doesn’t tell us for sure—but it tells us God is good, and nothing He does is cruel or wasteful.” That answer protects both truth and hope. One of the greatest treasures of life in Christ is the BLESSED HOPE that we will be with loved ones who were saved by faith in Christ again. It is not a crutch or a false hope. We do NOT grieve like those who have no hope. However, we still must grieve. There are several books that can be read to children regarding the issue of loss and grief. Here were a few that were recommended to me by friends: Badger’s Parting Gifts- Susan Varley Grief Like a Snowflake- Julia Cook Invisible String- Patrice Karst Fall of Freddy the Leaf – Leo Buscaglia It Will Be Okay – Lysa Terkeurst That Stars That Stay – Brynne Elizabeth Behringer. (Only one that is written by a man, which is noteworthy.) Remember that old youth group sing-along, “Who’s Side Are You Leaning On?” The antiphonal response was “Leaning on the Lord’s Side.” It had motions and the verse included clapping, singing, shouting, jumping, or whatever else you wanted to make up. Well, who’s side are you STANDING on? I was watching a movie the other night and the protagonist was asked to take a side on an impending matter of crisis. His response was “I don’t take sides”. I paused to think about that. Is it wrong to take sides? What does that mean? As I’ve taken a few days to ponder this, several things have come to mind. First, taking sides is biblical. There is good and evil. Eventually, you will be JUDGED based on what side you have chosen. God is good. Mark 10:18 says, “No one is good but one; that is God.” Everything God made is good, but it all came under a curse when sin entered the world. So until Jesus comes back to redeem that which was lost, it is all cursed and therefore, evil. Siding with evil (Satan, the world, the flesh) will lead to an eternal separation from God. Siding with good (God) will lead to an eternity with God. Which side do you want to be on? Those who reject good (God) will go to hell. Dallas Willard says it is the most gracious thing God can do for them since they clearly don’t want to have anything to do with God and heaven is an eternity with God. Jesus will separate the sheep from the goats at the Judgement of Nations at his return. What side do you want to be on? Heaven or Hell? Those who are judged at the Great White Throne judgement at the end of the Millennial Kingdom will be sent to Hell. Do you want to be on THAT side? You choose. But you must choose a side. Jesus told the story of the space between heaven and hell in Luke 16: 19-31. He calls the space between, ‘a chasm’ that no man can cross. You see, there IS NO in between. Second, NOT taking sides is cowardly. Would you have been a Nazi because you lived in Germany in the 1930s? Not being one, would mean punishment or death. Jesus said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15: 18,19. While Hollywood would portray the protagonist in the film I watched as noble for not taking sides in a matter of good against evil, it is in fact, cowardly. If you are a Christ-follower, you can be sure that your opinions won’t be main stream Jesus also warned those who are lukewarm, that he would ‘spew them out of his mouth.’ (Rev 3: 15, 16) Trying to hold the middle ground is NOT the work of the Christian. There is coming a time soon, where that will be harder and harder to do. People that don’t take sides are people of preference, not conviction. I have friends that are smitten with liberal theology; a heresy that Jesus also warned about regarding latter days. (2 Timothy 3:5) One tenant of liberal theology is “Jesus is Love”. It ‘sounds’ good and it’s true. But it’s not the whole truth. Jesus is Just. Jesus is Righteous. Jesus is Holy. Reconcile those types of images in Revelation with Jesus is Love from the Gospel. It’s still Jesus. But the book of Revelation isn’t just about end times. It starts off with “The Revelation OF Jesus Christ…” The NIV wrongly interprets the phrase “from Jesus”. In all the other places it’s used in the New Testament, it is “of Jesus” as it is translated in the King James version of the Bible. My point is that Jesus is showing John yet another side of WHO HE IS and it seems radically different than what John (and we) experience in the Gospels. Yet, this is HIM. And the reconciliation is very simple. It is not possible to be loving and be unjust. Love demands justice and the book of Revelation shows Jesus as Judge. It is not a pretty picture. Where this liberal heresy hurts Christians is that they think ‘taking sides’ is unloving. They wink at sin under the guise of being loving and then it’s easy not to take sides. I read a meme this week from an avowed atheist that said, “How much do you (A Christian) have to hate a person that you would not tell them the truth about the Gospel?” I’m guilty. Taking sides is becoming risky. Evangelical Christians are becoming the minority and even ‘fringe’ in society. Our ‘talk’ is hate speech and we are becoming more marginalized as culture becomes more Post-Christian. The world WANTS you to LOVE everyone. Be tolerant of everything except sin. Sin is about the only thing left that doesn’t offend anyone. In his book, BRAVE, Allistair Beggs discusses the dilemma when Christians compromise with the world’s idea of ‘intellectual tolerance’. In summary, he says modern culture prizes a version of tolerance that permits all beliefs to be expressed,so long as none are held to be finally true. It’s the natural evolution of the Thomas Anthony Harris book “I’m Okay. You’re Okay” published in 1969. Christianity is tolerated only when it is relativized—treated as a private preference rather than a truth claim. The moment Christians speak with clarity or exclusivity (“this is true,” “this matters”), they are no longer seen as tolerant but as dangerous or arrogant. The temptation then is for Christians to soften language, blur conviction, or retreat into silence, mistaking passivity for faithfulness This is all part of the spirit of the age that we are warned about in Scripture. Relativism and fear will eventually plow the road needed for the delusional spirits that are infiltrating our culture psyche. But two things: · We win (Not “Love Wins” as the liberal churches like to put on their neon signs.) Because Jesus won, we will win. The scroll in Revelation will be opened by the Lamb of God who sits on the throne. That scroll is the deed to this earth, which Jesus will claim at just the right moment in time. When He does, “every knee will bow and every tongue will proclaim He has WON. There will not be sides on that matter. · The Church of Jesus Christ remains His chosen vessel in this dispensation of time and the Gates of Hell will NOT prevail against it. If you are not a part of the Church (with a capital “C”), then you will certainly be on the wrong side of what is to come after the Church is taken out of the Earth. One of the most descriptive Bible verses uses the word STAND, three times in two sentences. Ephesians 6: 13, 14, says, Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that WHEN the day of evil comes you will be able to take your stand and after you have done everything to stand. STAND firm then…. From here it goes on to outline the armor of God. Take a side. Take a stand. It’s time. If you don’t you’ll fall for anything   When I was 21, my Dad kicked me out of the house. It was literally kicking and it made an indelible mark on me. He was a man who was on his own when he was 19 and married with a child (me) on the way. I’m sure it was a heavy dose of reality for him. He often treated me like I had somehow interrupted his life. An unplanned pregnancy can do that; especially if you’re not married at the time.
At the time, he had two other young(er) children at home and I’m sure that he felt my time was up and I should be moving on. He was out of his house when he was 19 and that’s all he knew. Despite the fact that I only had six more months before college graduation and subsequent commissioning into the U.S.Army, he gave me the boot. He could have handled it better. We didn’t have a good relationship to begin with and so it was messy. As we consider the dynamics of raising and training boys to be competent men of Christ-like character, the question may arise as to when is a good time for boys in a home to ‘fly the nest’ and learn to live on their own. The question has no absolute answers. There are many factors that can come into play: -age/maturity -financial situation -behavior -mental health -Parent’s rules, boundaries and expectations -legalities -unusual situations and circumstances. There may be more. Let me give you a few personal examples: -I have a friend whose son fell into a life of being horribly addicted to drugs. As he spiraled out of control, they tried everything they could to get him help and turn him around. Eventually, he became a danger to the family, to include a disabled sister that lived at home. The father had to kick him out of the house in order to protect the other family members. He was stealing, dealing, and not following any of the ‘rules’ set in place by the father. Initially, he would feign remorse, and be aloud to come back home to live but would always fall back into the ruinous patterns that had become his life. Eventually, the father had legal grounds to put out a restraining order against his son. It was a horrible ordeal for the entire family. One night, the father got a call from local police saying that they had found the boy living in his car and was freezing. He was asking to come home. The father told the police that he could NOT come home and that he would have to stay in the car or be taken to a shelter or even jail. (It would not have been the first time.) This is an extreme case where the boy’s choices gave the father no alternative. -I have other friends whose son graduated from high school and fell into a deep addiction to video games. He would stay up for days playing these games and then sleep off the ‘high’ just like any addiction. He couldn’t keep a job. He became reclusive and moody. He rarely came out into the light and stayed huddled around his gaming equipment in his dark room. The parents felt helpless in knowing how to handle the situation fearing that kicking him out of the house would only make him homeless and still addicted. This went on for several years. Should they have acted sooner to get him out of the house? -My own son, came back to us at the age of 27 after going to college and then sharing an apartment with friends for a year. When they moved out to live with girlfriends, he was left with a lease that he couldn’t afford. So, he came home to live again and save money to buy a house. He has a steady job and is very responsible. He poses no problems, honors the rules, and shows us proper respect. He is a joy to have around, often filling our home with music. (He plays piano and violin.) I am aware that he needs to be on his own and he wants to be, but there doesn’t seem to be a compelling reason, yet, to push that and as long as he’s abiding by our rules and helping around the house. My wife and I are both in agreement that he can stay. Should he be paying rent if the point of him being here is to save up enough money to get his own house? Should we give him a deadline to move out? These are just three of my own stories that show vastly different circumstances surrounding the issue of helping your son to launch. As I address this article, I think the best approach is to consider tactics, ideas, and the broader concept of transitioning to independence. First of all, and most importantly, this is God’s design. I write about this regularly. Children are not YOURS. They are God’s children and you are coparenting with God. The whole point of raising children is preparing them for living life independently of you (and more dependent on God). The natural progression of personal growth and development is towards greater independence. Even God’s goal for your life is to release you into the fullness of all you were created and intended to do. As a father, this is part of your responsibility. What do you think we are going to do in eternity? For me, the perfect frame for this matter is a king and a kingdom. You are truly the ‘master of your domain’. Everyone in your household is ‘subject’ to that authority just like in a kingdom. Hierarchy and order all part of God’s dominion and it is certainly true of the family unit that God designed. If someone in your household can not abide by the kingdom rules, they should be subject to be put ‘outside’ the kingdom. This is true in every level of God’s order throughout creation. Simultaneously, there is much to say about the way a father should ‘lord’ this authority over his household. It’s not heavy-handed. Having said that, let’s consider other factors of your process: 1. Timing and Readiness
2. Motives and Communication
3. Support and Planning
4. Boundaries and Expectations
It’s a subjective matter and one that can be emotionally charged. Finding the right answer or balance (nuanced approach) for your particular situation should take prayerful consideration along with the wisdom associated with the spiritual insights provided above.  In our book, “Boys Have a Dam Problem: Examining the Faults That Have Put Our Boys In Crisis”, we consider the criteria for manhood:
We also examined examples of masculinity in the Bible to include:
That’s not meant to be a comprehensive list, just a few examples of great men listed in the Bible. Of course, that list would start with Jesus, the greatest of all men in history. But as we are in the Christmas season as I write this, I want to look at another man from the Bible and how he fits our description of masculinity. Joseph. What do we know about the man who raised and cared for the boy Jesus. Here’s what we know about him: -He was a descendant of the line of David. -He was a skilled craftsman. Although we generally think of him as a carpenter, the word in Greek is ‘skilled craftsman’ and he probably did as much work with stone as he did with wood. Nazareth did not have trees for wood, but they had plenty of stone. -He was from Nazareth, the ‘city of garbage’ as it was often described. The phrase “Could any good thing come out of Nazareth?”, said much about the little village where Joseph lived. We also know that he was betrothed to a woman named Mary from the same village. Betrothal was a binding agreement between a man and woman that could only be annulled through divorce. It was as if they WERE married, but they lived apart for about a year as the groom prepared room in his father’s house for his future bride. When he was ready to receive the new couple, the father would instruct the son to go and get the bride. The Jewish wedding customs are vital to understanding rapture theology and eschatology. The situation that Joseph found himself in when Mary was with child was a most difficult, embarrassing, and awkward situation to be in. The brunt of what would happen to Mary fell on Joseph. If he accused Mary of adultery, the result would be her death; a public stoning in the town square. In a strange twist of fate, Joseph held God’s life in his very hands. Without divine intervention, it’s hard to say how Joseph may have responded to this situation. We do know that he was visited by the angel Gabriel who assured him in a dream that what Mary told him was true and she would be the one, chosen by God, to bring forth Israel’s Messiah. It is hard to put ourselves in Joseph’s shoes because of the vast cultural differences. In a time when 50% of marriages end in divorce, we might consider this a ‘no brainer’. It’s not only that your betrothed is having a child out of wedlock and YOU are not the father. Now, she’s having the Son of God and you’ve been pulled into a story as far outside your comfort zone as is divinely imaginable. But Joseph displayed all the attributes of godly manhood that we would want to emulate. Male by design. Contrary to public opinion, God created men to marry woman and have children within the husband-and-wife marriage relationship. Strangely enough that is not the popular opinion today, but it doesn’t change a thing about God’s design. God had provided Jesus a mother in Mary and His son would have an earthly father too. Here’s the thing: God created and called Joseph for that purpose. Whatever we don’t know about Joseph, we know that he was uniquely qualified to do this job. God does not call us to do things we are not qualified or capable of doing. Have you ever considered that Joseph was created male as part of this calling? In our book, we talk about this at greater length. However, the point is your gender is part of your purpose and calling. Your birth gender is NOT an accident. When you lose sight of this, you are immediately on the wrong path. You can not begin with the assumption that God made a mistake when he made you. Masculine by nature. We know that Joseph had XY chromosomes and his fair share of testosterone. He was poor and he lived in Nazareth. It’s hard to imagine it was an easy life, but I would only be speculating on his nature to go further than that. However, I imagine him to be a man’s man, hard-working provider for his family, great dad, and good husband. I’m going to point to the journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem as an example of this. The trip is 70-90 miles depending on the route. He agreed to take his very pregnant wife with him on the trip, even if she did insist on going. The journey would take 4-6 days over difficult terrain and frought with dangers like wild animals, thieves and robbers. Mary would ride the donkey and Joseph would walk along, seeing that Mary would be protected and taken care of to the best of his abilities. This was no small task and indicates something about the rugged nature and masculine instincts of Joseph. Once the angel had intervened in this his situation, his DNA kicked in and he was instinctually protector, provider, and presider. Men through loving sacrifice. Any man that has been in the birthing room when his child was born will understand what it is to hold your child for the first time. It is hard to imagine that any notion that Jesus was ‘someone else’s child’ vanished when he first held his son. No. Those paternal instincts kicked right in. Though our cultural dynamics have changed the role of men in the family, God has not. It is God’s design (not mine) that the man be the covering in all spiritual institutions, the family being paramount in God’s good order. Back in these days, Joseph’s role in the family would have been unquestioned. I would have liked to have seen his response to the shepherds or curious on-lookers getting wind of the shepherds’ encounter with the angels. How ‘protective’ was he of his family regarding all these strangers. Don’t forget that this was only the beginning. Herod was trying to kill the child, and in fact did kill all children ages two and under in Bethlehem. His days were filled with suspicion and no small amount of anxiety. Wise men from the East? Who else knows about the birth of my son and our location. For goodness’ sakes, there’s a star showing the world where we are. This was only the beginning. The angel would warn him of Herod’s plans to kill the child and he would be forced to take his young family to yet another strange location in a far away place. Joseph would have to be on the move; a man who didn’t move around much prior to all this. He would have to find work to provide for his family. Where would this take him? Life would never be about Joseph again. Actually, the Bible tells us very little about him after the Christmas story. We know that he died before Jesus started his own earthly ministry. Joseph walked in the shadows, holding up one of the greatest stories in history. That’s what good fathers do. They sacrifice for their families. Godly men through Christ’s example. First child. What do I do now? How does this work? Raising children is one of the great mysteries of life. Each child is so different. The Bible has some things to say about it and people write books about it, ad nauseum, but what do YOU do with YOUR child? What about if that child is the SON OF GOD? How did Joseph approach teaching the Son of God ANYTHING? What if the example you want to leave your son is HIM? Jesus would be the example for all other men to emulate. How do you raise THAT child? It’s almost laughable, isn’t it? Here's what we know. Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with both GOD and man. Joseph did a good job. He presented his son with a GOOD example. Joseph was obviously a man of great faith. You don’t get swept up in a story like this without GREAT FAITH. Don’t get lost in the divinity of it all. Jesus was fully human too. He needed his DAD. Everything that a boy in Nazareth would need to know, he got from his Dad. Families taught their children to read and scripture was most often used to do this. Can you imagine Joseph sitting down and teaching Jesus to read from the scriptures? Jesus WAS the Word. This irony could not have been lost on Joseph. Yet, he did his part. He taught Jesus what he knew; education, job skills, life skills, etc. That was Joseph. Can you imagine Joseph trying to have ‘the talk’ with Jesus. I can’t wait to meet this Godly man and ask him these questions. WOW. My wife and I performed a play that I wrote called “Joy in the Journey” for many years, when we were younger. I always played the part of Joseph. I did that until my wife said she was too old to play Mary and I’d have to write a play about Abraham and Sarah instead. Because we did it for so many Christmas seasons, I always felt like I was going back to visit with an old friend, when I played the part. I imagine we were very different in some ways, but in ways that matter I hope we were very much the same male by design; masculine by nature; men through loving sacrifice; and a godly man by Christ’s example. I look forward to meeting you someday Joseph. Understanding the reasons for corporate worship from a biblical perspective is necessary for the planning and preparation of these gatherings. While there are variety of things we can point to as to what we ‘do’ when we gather together, it is more necessary to consider what Scripture says about the purpose of gathering. Worship? Edification? Exhortation? Evangelism? What should our mentality be? There is not one command in the gospel for public ‘worship’. The frequent attendance is never so much as mentioned in all the New Testament. Historically, early Christians gathered on the first day of the week because of Christ’s resurrection. Hebrews 10 follows a lengthy discourse on believers who were being persecuted in their new faith and were ‘jumping ship’ back to Judaism. The writer there talks about them ‘drifting away’ or ‘hardening their hearts’, both references to apostacy as clearly indicated in Hebrews 10: 19-39. In that section it states, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (v. 24-25). This may be the most compelling argument in scripture that the primary reason for gathering together on a regular basis is for encouraging one another as it is implied in this section of Scripture. Still, there is plenty of support for teaching too. Paul regularly uses the terminology of ‘building up’ or ‘edifying’ to indicate the purpose and function of Christian gatherings. This terminology is used in 1 Corinithians 14. One must also consider the dynamic of the corporate body when they gather. Ephesians 4, 7-12; Romans 12: 6-8; 1 Corinthians 12: 7-10 are all connected somehow to 1 Peter 4:10, “Everyone should use whatever gift they have received to SERVE others, faithfully administering God’s grace in all of its various forms. A study of these lists shows the gifts are given for the ecclesia to ‘serve’ them by training them up; encouraging them on their way; teaching, exhorting, giving. While some level of importance should be given to the preaching of the Word in the corporate gathering, the centrality of the WORD can also be distributed through the Body of Christ for this SAME purpose through the distribution of gifts. In may cases, the function of this is not always about teaching but encouragement. Often, the two are so inextricably intertwined that it’s impossible (and maybe unnecessary) to unravel. Even the singing, as it was given, was centered on the Word of God, but was for the purpose of edification and encouragement. “Colossians 3:16 says ‘Let the Word of Christ dwell in your richly as you teach and admonish (this word in the original language also means exhort) one another in all wisdom, as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” I will always hold to the teaching/preaching of the Word as vital to the liturgy of corporate gathering. But I would upend my will on that (sermon preparation, etc.) for the Spirit of God to blow through our assembly and use the body of Christ there to manifest his WORD for us through the gifts in our members. As WE see the day approaching, it is even more important for us to spur one another on to do good works and encourage one another in the faith.   I just watched a movie (second time) about the life of J.R.R Tolkein. It was an amazing story of his life and how it impacted the writing of his master works. At the end of the movie, he’s made most of the connections in his mind, to be able to sit down and write what would become the “Lord of the Ring” trilogy. His children are asking him what the story was about. He fumbles with some mega themes and then finishes with the last word of the movie. “Fellowship” Certainly, one of the major themes that draws men to a movie like this is the comradery and companionship of the men who are on quest in the Lord of the Rings: 4 Hobbits, 2 soldiers of Rohan; an elf; a dwarf; and a wizard. They embark on a journey that would change their lives forever, facing every type of hardship and evil imaginable. They succeed on the strength of their fellowship. Each one brings something to the cause that would make victory unimaginable without it. Fellowship. Even the word is masculine, isn’t it? Fellow-ship. Merriam-Webster says it’s a ‘community of interest’; ‘like-minded people.’ Every man has a deep longing to be on a journey with other men in an epic adventure like this. Besides a fantastical journey like this one, the only experiences that are relatable to us are through sports and war. I was in the Army during the Reagan years (1980-1988) and I can remember feeling a bit ‘cheated’ not going to at least a skirmish of sorts. It sounds a bit perverted. Who really wants to go into a war and yet, those who do and make it through are connected together with other men in battle in a manner that is impossible to experience any other way. As I traveled around the world with ministry, I was often in third world countries where I would see men gathered in a spot together. My western mindset would often think of how lazy they appeared being gathered together in the heat of the day while their wives or the women did most of the work around the home. But men in the Bible did the same things as they sat at the gate during the day. Passages like Genesis 19:1 say, The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. You discover that much of the village business and municipal affairs took place at the village gate where the men of old would sit and make decisions concerning the town. I’m sure there were also a lot of stories being passed around along with drink, food, and maybe even some merriment. Men love women but still need to be with other men in community. This idea of connectedness is vital to Treign Up. We’ve already stated that boys will look for validation from somewhere because we all have a strong need to belong, which is spiritual. I’ll discuss this in more detail later, but it almost sounds contrary to our individualistic nature in the west. Everyone wants to be his own man . Independence! That’s the key. Nothing could be further from the reality of human nature. In his book, “WAR”, Sebastian Junger chronicles his experiences covering an Army platoon stationed in the Restrepo, Afghanistan. One of his observations is how the dynamic of war takes your attention off yourself and puts it on the group so that your central concern shifts from yourself to others. Everyone must depend on others for their survival and when the stakes are so high, that makes the bond very strong. Upon arriving home from such an experience there is ‘loss’ that is not about the battle but about the bond that was created. I’ll never forget that final scene in the last episode of the movie trilogy, “The Return of the King”. After being gone a year on their incredible adventure, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry, must somehow enter back into the Shire and the society they left behind to save. None of the others could possibly understand their situation. We were home. How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend... some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold. The final step in Campbell's classic Hero's Journey is the hero returns home, having changed. The hero is different and no longer fits. Then, traditionally, the hero leaves again, this time for good. It's a common motif. The closest I ever came to this was a company command of a training unity at Fort Lee, VA in the 80s. Because it was still initial Army entry training, there was a strong sense of discipline and drill that went into the training: Inspections, marching, parades, barracks life, etc. I spent 15 months in command with a cadre of drill sergeants and support staff. On the night before I changed command, I walked through the area of operation and wept to the depths of my soul. It was an uncontrollable sobbing that racked my spirit and body and it went on for hours. I hid behind the barracks praying that no one would see me. But, I could not contain myself. Nothing was said and I spoke to no one that night, but I will never forget the incredible sadness in my heart. I had only touched the outside rim of that circle of fellowship and it brought me to my knees. It brings me back to this idea of connectedness between men, in particular, which runs against the stereotype of men being alpha males and loners. In our western society, there are no ‘enemies’ that require for us to band together and fight against. I’ve talked about how this dynamic has affected the Necessity Cycle for manhood and consequently contributed to the issue of Lost Boys. However, we are, in fact, wired for this type of community, which is one of the reasons that you see gangs and other alternative and negative ‘bands’ develop in times like these. You don’t have to go further than high school to verify this. I love the movie, “The Incredibles”. InvisiGirl (Violet Parr) represents every adolescent child in the world. They DON’T want to stand out an any cost. Just blend in. Be invisible. Belong. It may be about a girl, but…. Junger states that adversity doesn’t, in fact, spark individualism, but rather community. There is a shared ethos of group survival during tragedy. We regularly see this in our own history, if we are paying attention. While the news may focus on the debase and selfish, the truth is that most people turn towards their neighbors and their communities to face a difficult situation together. In the movie Titanic, a selfish elitist, Caledon Hockley, saves himself first as the ship sinks. Once again,. Hollywood plays the man as the villain. In fact, =75% of the women and 50% of the children survived. Only 19% of the men survived that catastrophe. Do you know why? They understood their role and they knew what they must do. One of my favorite scenes is the string players in the band playing “Nearer My God to Thee” as the ship went down. A true band of brothers. That IS the heart of men. In one of his “Art of Manliness” blogs, Brett McKay suggests that every boy needs three families (communities) for healthy development. He calls them a first, second, and third family. The first family is the nuclear family and we have talked about the disintegration of this family as one of the root causes of the boy crisis. The second family is the extended family. This may be a neighborhood or relatives. Michael Gurian say this Second Family reinforces the values and skills taught within the home, and also helps give young men a sense of identity and belonging. This extended family is doubly important for boys raised in single parent households. The third family is social groups like churches, schools, teams, etc. I don’t agree with anything that Hillary Clinton says, especially if it relates to men, but there is some truth that it takes a village to raise a son. Still, the point of all of this is the need to belong. The statistics for success are stacked against boys who don’t find their place of belonging. How do we bring this back to a spiritual truth? It’s not a stretch and if you know your Bible you could see it coming a mile away. We in the body of Christ were made for community. The very word ‘ekklesia” is a Greek word that is borrowed by the church. It is a secular word for ‘gatherings’. It means “called out ones.” They are called out to gather together in community. This ‘bride’, or ‘body’ is made up of like-minded people who are gathered together for the purpose of bringing glory to God through works and deeds. This highest calling is meant to be carried out in community and never in isolation. In fact, being isolated is most often considered a primary tactic of the enemy (Satan) to bring defeat. If he (the devil) can get you away from the ‘ekklesia’, he can defeat you there. The list of gifts in Romans 12: 6-8 consists of 7 ‘motivational gifts’ that are individually possessed. Missing just one of these gifts puts the ‘fellowship’ out of balance and at risk. It is clearly a picture of community and appreciating each other’s gifts for the greater good of the group. It is survival. It’s spiritual survival in a world where WE are the enemy. (This world is NOT our friend!) Men need a ‘brother’hood. Men need a ‘fellow’ship. In the early church, we are told that Christians continuously devoted themselves to fellowship (Acts 2:42). The word is translated from a Greek word, koinonia, which means to ‘have in common’ or ‘to share’. Here again, you can see that it was many years of persecution before the early church was free to follow Christ. These underground groups were mostly house churches and the ‘enemy’ outside the walls helped reinforce this early koinonia for the sake of survival. This goes back to our earlier point about how the ‘enemy’ outside can galvanize a group of people with a common goal. This is one of the reasons that the ‘company of men’ is so vital to the life of Treign Up. We believe only a company of men can affirm a boy into manhood; that is more than an individual father or male figure alone. Therefore, gathering men together in community is part of mission; men in community and not just networks. In his documentary work, “Korengal”, Junger argues that networking only further alienates men and keeps them in loneliness,, anxiety, and fear. For more information on the differentiations between networks and communities, I recommend “Dumbing Us Down” by John Gatto. One last line from “Lord of the Ring”. Lady Galadriel whispers to the ring bearer this line: The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true. Hope does remain as long as the company (of men) is true.  |
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