At Treign Up, (the ministry I share with my son, Benjamin, and his team) we try and delve into issues or topics that deal with the boy crisis.  Sometimes, we write about things we don’t know.  It involves research, study, and analysis.  Other times we write about things we do know.  That involves personal experience, passion, history.   Sometimes, it’s a combination of both.  But rarely do I  get to write about something so near and dear to my heart as this:  Being a GRANDFATHER. 
 
I’m not going to assume that everyone or even most people have had a good experience with a grandfather or grandmother.  For those who have not, I ask for your grace as you read this article.  It might even be hard for you to read. I know people who have been cut off from seeing their grandchildren for one reason or another which causes enormous grief, and I would add, serious repercussions in the life of the children involved.  There are many grandparents who have been forced into being primary care givers for their grandchildren, which has caused all sorts of added pressures to their lives.  I’m saying it’s not always idyllic and we all understand that.  Even as I write this, I feel like I’m walking through a minefield of potential triggers for trauma in people’s lives.  But, by means of this disclaimer, I ask for grace and permission to write about what it is intended to be and certainly what it could be.   I know in my own case, it is what it is.
 
I’ve heard it all my life.  “Wait until you get grandchildren.”  Okay.  “Oh, grandchildren are the only reason to have children.”  Got it.  “If I’d had known that being a grandparent was so wonderful, I would have had them first.”  Right.  According to the American Grandparents Association, 72% of grandparents think being a grandparent is the single most important and satisfying thing in their life.
 
Then, one day, you’re holding a grandchild.  That’s when the world fades away into the background and the only thing that matters anymore is that little bundle in your arms.  Does anyone really know why?  Can anyone really explain that to you in a way that prepares you for it? 
 
After my first grandson was born, my son and I had a conversation about rules.  Of course, I did not generate that conversation because my first rule as a grandparent is that there are no rules.  That’s the privilege of being a grandparent.  But, I said this, “I taught you how to be a father and now I’m going to teach you how to be a grandfather.”  I had no real basis for saying the later because, quite frankly, I don’t know that I have a grasp on that.  Perhaps you fake it until you make it.  But, not really….
 
Because that ‘thing’ that happened to you when you first held your future in your arms was the reassurance that a time release capsule just went off inside of you.  It was euphoric but also certain.  You began to feel as if you would have everything you needed for this job when you needed it.   That has been the journey so far.   It has not been labor intensive, unless you consider the labor of love a burden.  Grandchildren are a complete joy.
 
Grandmothers, you can stop reading here as we will not be talking about you any further in this article!  We want to address how a man speaks into the life of his grandsons.  Is it unique?  It certainly is.  It’s different than a grandmother and her influence on grandchildren.  It’s also different for a man and his granddaughters.  I can only assume this based on research and study since I don’t have any daughters or granddaughters.   I also want to include older men who have no biological connection to  children.  It’s the same as the conflict with single women or married women who have no children.  Should they be celebrated on “Mother’s Day”?  Of course they should.  Every female has the same DNA to connect to children in a unique way.  Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean you can’t have maternal or paternal instincts.  Do you know that the name “Abram” means exalted father?  But he didn’t have any children until his late 80s.  Can you imagine that conversation? 
 
: I’m Joseph.  What’s your name?
: I’m Abram?
: Ah, Abram.  That means exalted father, right?
: Well,  yes.
: How many children do you have?
: Actually, I don’t have any.
(Awkward silence.)
 
So, God changed his name to Abraham, which means Father of many nations.  Abraham was always going to be a father even though he didn’t have children for many years.  The seed was in him to be so.  The seed is in every man to be so.   We know the sentiment of that is true.
 
What IS the role that a grandfather plays in the life of a boy?
 
Well, the obvious responses are they are men and they are vested in the life of their grandchildren.  We’ve made the case for intentional fathers.  It’s the same for grandfathers.  Also, whether or not they have grandchildren, they can and should be part of the company of men that supports a boy in his journey to manhood.  Older men have much to offer in terms of wisdom and experience.  We have a man in our house church whom refer to as “The Sage”.  He is twenty years older than the rest of us.  His job is to be present.  He rarely speaks in the service setting, but he’s quite the talker around the table, where most of the real ministry happens in house church anyway.  However, when he prays, there is a sense of intimacy and experience in his voice, that speaks to many years of knowing someone. 
 
When I was a children’s pastor, I went straight to the Senior Adult group in our church for support.  I viewed them as one of the greatest resources in the church regarding children’s ministry.  I asked them to be involved in any and every way possible.   In children’s ministry, they were NOT on their way out the door.  My door was a revolving door that brought them straight back into the room where their gifts, talents, and experiences would be life giving.   I especially implored them to be of service in our mid-week programs where we valued apprenticeships.   I asked the older men who had hobbies to share skill sets with young children for 6-8 weeks in a semester.  I didn’t REALLY care about the skill sets.  I cared about the relationships and the natural bond between a grandfather and a child is one of the most natural to leverage in ministry.
 
Other than that, what is the role of the grandfather in the life of a boy?
Studies show that as many as 9 out of 10 adult grandchildren feel that their grandparents influenced their beliefs and values. A child’s perspective of what constitutes a healthy, normal relationship is shaped by the relationship that he or she holds with a grandparent. Through regular contact, a sense of emotional intimacy, and unwavering support, children can experience what a true, positive relationship should look like.   Just this week, I was invited to an engagement party for young man that grew up with my son.  At the end of the party, he spoke to the group about some key people in the room.  In referring to his brother he said, “Many of you know that we didn’t have a stable home life.”  Well, that would probably be the understatement of the year.  Both he and his fiancé came from broken homes.   His situation was tumultuous and I know that the most stable influence in his life through those difficult years was the love of his grandparents.  They saved the children from the chaos ensuing from that brokenness and offered them stability and reassurance.  That man was in the room that night and I couldn’t help but wonder if he fully understood the impact he had made on his grandchildren. 
Grandfather’s teach skills; they tell stories, some of which are integral in understanding your history; perhaps not to the extent of the man in the previous paragraph, but they also provide stability in the family through regular child care and family support, when needed.  They can actually help the mental health of a child.  A 2014 study at Boston College found that “an emotionally close relationship between grandparent and grandchild is associated with fewer symptoms of depression for both generations.”
My guess is that you’re not surprised by most of these insights.  They seem obvious, don’t they?  And I’m sure that there are many more benefits that a an ‘intentional’ grandfather can bring to his grandson’s life.  I would be amiss if I didn’t talk about honor.  We live in a culture that doesn’t honor the elderly.  Older people are often seen as a being disposable.  Asian cultures follow filial piety which honors the aged among them and values the patriarchs and matriarchs of families.  Whereas other cultures would never consider sending their again parents to nursing homes or assisted living facilities, we in the West actually plan for it before it may even be necessary.  But, using grandparents to teach honor to children is a noble and biblical ideal.   This is another place that my son and daughter-in-law do well.  They often use interactions that our grandchildren have with us to teach them about honor.  Since they are all boys, we never let them hit us or show disrespect.   Just a few days ago, my little three-year-old grandson was mad at me for taking something from him.  He screamed in anger, “No Pappy!”  My son was right on it.  He took his son away and explained that we don’t respond to Pappy or Gigi that way and that they deserve honor and respect.  My grandson came back and apologized.  Well, he tried.  But he kept looking away and wouldn’t maintain eye contact with me.  That did not escape my son’s attention and he made him look me in the eye and apologize for something specific.   That is a wonderful teachable moment and a great place for grandparents to partner with parents on teaching children about honor and respect. 
There is ONE more thing that I believe is of spiritual importance here.  Hebrew culture placed a huge emphasis on patriarchs and patriarchal figures.  The oldest man in every family was held in highest honor in that culture and given much authority over an extended family.  Certainly, we see this in the patriarchs of Israel’s history:  Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.   The blessing to each child came down through the patriarch of that family line.  I spoke about this when I discussed the topic of blessing and the power of the spoken word over our children.   Each year near Halloween, we host what I call GrandFest”.   It is a celebration of speaking blessing over family by the males in the family to include a patriarchal blessing spoken by the oldest male (usually grandfather) that is present in that family circle.  It is a beautiful thing to watch the father’s speak affirmation, blessing, and laying hands on their children to convey a spiritual sense of covering and protection.   Much of this has to do with the very tenants of Treign Up.  In God’s design for spiritual institutions (family and church) a man is meant to ‘cover’ and ‘lead’ with Christ-like compassion and sacrificial giving.  God does not give that responsibility to a man without commensurate authority and spiritual power to back it up.  So, the prayer of blessing by the men in the family, to include the patriarch of that family, is of significant importance in the life of children and especially boys.
And did I mention that being a grandparent (to boys) is just awesome?  As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I told my son I would teach him how to be a grandfather.  I didn’t have that model growing up and neither did my sons.  So, we’re learning together.  But, I believe God is leading me and I want to do well.  I want to do very well.

I was supposed to be working on an article about peer pressure and parenting for our ministry,. Treign Up. It’s a good topic.  But I’m going to have to go off script to share insights about the Daniel Penny story.
The Daniel Penny case revolves around a May 1, 2023, incident on a New York City subway in which Penny, a 24-year-old former U.S. Marine, placed 30-year-old Jordan Neely, a homeless man, in a chokehold after Neely reportedly acted erratically and made aggressive remarks. The altercation led to Neely’s death, ruled a homicide caused by neck compression.
The case sparked widespread debate about public safety, mental health, and the appropriateness of Penny's actions. Penny argued he acted to protect himself and others, while critics labeled the act excessive and potentially racially motivated, as Penny is white and Neely was Black. Penny was charged with manslaughter and later pleaded not guilty. The case has remained a focal point in discussions about justice and the balance between self-defense and the use of force.
On December 9, 2024, the jury in the trial acquitted Daniel Penny of all charges stemming from the case.  So, there was some good news in the middle of all that insanity.  The infamous, Alvin Bragg,  Manhattan DA, whose soft-on-crime approach to prosecuting crime is one of the reasons that citizens of NYC ride the subway in constant fear, stated that he would “honor the jury’s decision.”   That, in and of itself, is a surprise, considering Bragg’s record  as the lead prosecutor for the Manhattan district.
There are several parts of this story that are pertinent to our discussion on the boy crisis in America.  The first is the traditional role that men have had since the beginning of time as protector.   In our upcoming book “Boys Have a Dam Problem:  Examining the Faults that Have Put Our Boys in Crisis”,  we talk about the biblical mandates that God gave men first.  By ‘first’, we mean assignments that were given to men before there were women or were given by God to men in particular.   These roles are Laborer, Leader, and Priest (before God and before other people).  Somewhere under the ‘covering’ function of Leader is the distinct role men play defending others, especially loved ones.  I would never, ever send my wife downstairs in the middle of the night to check out a strange sound.  That would be cowardly.  I’m reminded of the heroic actions of  Corey Comperatore who died at a Trump rally in Butler, PA this past summer when he dove in front of his wife and daughter to protect them from gunfire.  I would only hope that I was as brave in that moment of crisis.
The movie “Titanic” was the largest grossing movie ever for a time.  One of the main characters, Cal (Caledon Hockley) was (and was portrayed) as an arrogant, narcissistic aristocrat.  In the movie, and real life, he survives the shipwreck in the most cowardly way imaginable.  What you don’t learn is that 1339 men died on that ship compared to 114 women and 56 boys and girls.  Do you know why?  Because hundreds of fathers gave their lives to save their wives and children that night.  That storyline, however, was not highlighted.
When asked after the trial how to reflect on the incident, Penney stated that he could not have lived with himself if he had done nothing.  Ten of the twelve witnesses on the subway train that day said they were afraid for their lives.  There were mothers and elderly women on the train that day.  They needed a hero when Jordan Neely stepped in and started threatening them with his wild antics, menacing language, and unstable behavior.  Turns out their fears were well founded.  Neely has a 42-arrest history, spanning from 2013 to 2021. Among these are four cases involving claimed violence, while other cases included charges of criminal trespass and transportation fraud.  Thanks to a criminal justice system run by the likes of Alvin Bragg, Neely was never held accountable for his actions.  In reality, the NY DA’s office should have been the ones on trial here.  But, it was Daniel Penny who was on the train that day and felt obligated as a man of courage, to intervene and protect those who were being victimized by Neely.  The former Marine vet with a spotless record, who was working on a college degree, wrestled Neely to the ground and held him a choke-hold until the authorities could get on site.  Neely later died from a number of ‘combined factors’ none of which were the chokehold and for that, Penny was charged with manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide.  Thank you for your service.  Your reward is 19 years in prison.
What kind of message do you think that sends to men and boys?  Deny every impulse and urge to protect others.  Save yourself.  Ignore your God-given responsibility to protect and defend.  Don’t be a hero.  DON’T BE A HERO.  Wow. 
I’m sure they are out there, but I don’t know a daughter, a mother, or a grandmother that wouldn’t want Daniel Penny on their train.  Culture says, “ masculinity is toxic.”  Of course, they are referring to Penny and not Neely.   How mixed up is that?
The second issue with the case is the story of Neely’s father, Andre Zachary.  Zachary was absent from Neely’s life.  Neely was raised by a mother who was killed by an abusive boyfriend when Jordan was only 14 years old.  After that, he was placed in foster care as an ORPHAN.  Where was Zachary?  After that, Neely spent a life on the streets, embroiled in crime, drugs, and homelessness.  No place to stay?  Where was Zachary, his father?  He was nowhere to be found until his son died and then he shows up shouting obscenities in the courtroom after the verdict was reached.  He was escorted out but wasted little time in grabbing a hot microphone to blame systematic racism, the rigged system, UFOs, the Little Old Ladies of the Crochet Club, and everyone else for ‘failing’ his son.  Really?  Oh, and of course, he found a more than willing lawyer to file a civil suit against Penny for the wrongful death of his son.  HIS son by DNA only.  THIS was the problem from the start.  Jordan Neely was doomed because his father abandoned him.
Corey Brooks is a pastor on the south side of Chicago that works with young men and deals regularly with the problems of absentee fathers.  He’s a contributing writer for Fox News and recently wrote an article called, “Jordan Neely’s father played a role in his death.  Don’t ignore America’s fatherhood crisis.” The article was published December 10, 2024.  Regarding Zachary, Brooks notes:
And now he shows up when his son is cold and buried? To be clear, he didn’t show up for Jordan. He showed up for himself. Andre Zachary was never a father in any meaningful way and does not deserve that precious title.  This angers me in ways that most people wouldn’t understand. I minister and work on the South Side of Chicago and I understand more than most how detrimental the absentee father has been to our community. I work with them every day.
At Treign Up, we believe there are three primary reasons for the boy crisis:
1.     Deprivation of intentional fathers in the home
2.     Disengagement of our boys from the current cultural education structures
3.     Distortion and denial around biblical manhood leading to the demonization of masculinity.
The reason I shared this article is because it brings up two of the three issues contributing to this wicked problem in one story.   Daniel Penny was never the bad guy in this story.  The real culprit is the likes of Andre Zachary and the efforts of Alvin Bragg and his justice department to make the hero in this story look like a villian.   At least for a day in December in 2024, a jury of Daniel Penny’s peers recognized the deception and (for a moment) stemmed the tide rising to discredit and distort masculinity and manhood in America.  Thank you Daniel Penny for your service.  You did not jump ship when you had the chance.

​Truthfully, this topic is one of the more life-giving themes in raising all children.  It encompasses more than just the power of speaking blessing;  it includes the power of the words we say. 
 
It’s hard to know whether to start with the former or the latter, since they are so intertwined together.   Let’s throw a dart and start with the power of words in general.
 
The Bible has much to say about the power of spoken words.
 
Proverbs 12:6, “The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them.
 
Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building other up according to their needs, that It may benefit those who listen.
 
Matthew 12: 36, “But I tell you that men will have to give an account on the day of judgement for every idle/careless word they have spoken.  For by your words, you will be freed and by your words you will be condemned.,
 
Matthew 12:34b, “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
 
Chapter 3 of James is a whole section on the power of spoken words and how they steer  life toward heaven or hell.   Listen to what James 3: 6 says about the power of the tongue, which would be the same as words we speak:
 
 “The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
 
But the most powerful verse of all on this matter is Proverbs 18:21:
 
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
 
That is an incredible insight into the power of our words: We have the Power of Life and Death on the tip of our tongue.
 
Moreso, I’m reminded of the power that God’s words have.  Think of Genesis and how God spoke the world into being.  “Let there be…”  and it was so.  It wasn’t just a creative act.  It was THE creative act from THE Creator.   
 
And God said…
 
He spoke and everything he said happened.  It was Ex-nilio; creating from nothingness.  That is POWERFUL STUFF.
 
At this point, I want to veer off the path a bit and suggest something you may not  have ever considered.   The more I study the nature of creation and created order, especially in Genesis, and put it into the context of what the Bible says about the power of spoken words,  I wonder if that same creative ability was available to us (mankind) in the Garden.  In Genesis 2:15, we’re told that God put man in the Garden of Eden to work and maintain it.  However, the nature of ‘work’ was never toil.  The curse on man was that he would sweat while working.  That was post-sin, not pre-sin.  What happened?  I believe that we were able to speak life, like God.  Hoeing?  Weeding?  Trimming?  Nope.  I think we just had the same creative power (to a lesser extent, perhaps) that God had when He created us.  Genesis 1:27 says the we were created in God’s image.  Oddly enough, we’re the only part of creation (at least now) that uses words.  That ability was lost when sin was introduced to the world and God’s creation was cursed.   I also believe that we will eventually be taken back to a restored Eden or creation where the curse of sin has been broken.  Revelation 22:3 says, “No longer will there be any curse.”  This is a reference to the celestial city of God.  His eternal kingdom on Earth.   The result?  No more sweat.
 
I don’t want to belabor the point.  However, it does serve to set up what we want to say about speaking blessing:  WORDS ARE POWERFUL.
 
There is a long history in the Bible of spoken blessings being passed down from fathers to sons, from leaders to their people, from God to his followers.
In modern times, a father’s blessing echoes the original blessing from God the Father to humanity. God intends for this to mirror one of His first blessings to Father of Israel: Abraham.
Genesis 12: 2, 3 says, “And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed”   As God chooses the one man on the planet to bring his plan of redemption to all peoples throughout time, he blesses him. 
Isaac then blesses Jacob, who was NOT the rightful heir to the blessing by birth but through God’s design: (Genesis 27:27-29)
Ah, the smell of my son
    is like the smell of a field
    that the Lord has blessed.
May God give you heaven’s dew
    and earth’s richness--
    an abundance of grain and new wine.
May nations serve you
    and peoples bow down to you.
Be lord over your brothers,
    and may the sons of your mother bow down to you.
May those who curse you be cursed
    and those who bless you be blessed.
When Jacob is at the end of his life, he too blesses his sons, predicting success for some, and struggle and exile for others (Genesis 49).  Crucially, in the story of Jacob blessing his sons, he is bestowing an identity upon them, recognizing qualities within them that will lead to success and blessing or failure.
In Numbers (6:22-27), God tells Moses and Aaron how to bless the people, by speaking these words over them:
“‘“The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.”’
Consider this a PRIESTLY prayer that the Lord commanded them to say over the people. Now make the connection of that to a father’s role in the family and his position in the household.
Jesus blesses his disciples at his ascension.  Most importantly as it relates to this subject, Jesus blessed the children!  Mark 10:16 says,  “And Jesus took the children in his arms and blessed them by placing his hands on them.”
Paul regularly blesses the hearers of his letters.
So, we have shared the power of the spoken word and the precedent for spiritual blessing.  It seems hard to imagine that anyone who is reading this needed us to make a case for blessing.  Still, it isn’t practiced in the home on a regular basis.  Most  people seem to reserve it for only special occasions.  Why is that?  Perhaps it seems old fashioned?  Perhaps people feel there is a formula to follow and they don’t know or understand it? 
Here are some simple truths about blessings to use in beginning a practice of speaking blessings and life to the members of your family and even to a larger community around you:

• Blessings are spoken aloud.
• Spoken blessings are words that impart power and purpose into someone’s life.  They speak truth over someone, and they recognize the work that God is doing in that person.  They declare the truths and promises of Scripture over a person’s life. This is one of the reasons, I wanted to caveat the idea of blessing with the power of spoken words.  Remember that your words can bring LIFE or death.  Words of blessing carry the weight and authority of heaven.  God’s blessings are meant to protect us, to guide us on the path of righteousness, and to give us hope.  
• Blessings remind us of who we are and where we are going.  This is important!  Speaking into our identity through Christ is a valuable part of blessing. Like the different blessings bestowed by Jacob over his 12 children, they should be a reflection of God’s design for their life.  Words should be measured in light of God’s purposes and plans for them.  As a parent, you will always have windows into seeing God’s plans HIS/your children.  You will be able to see their giftings, even in their immaturity.  My pastor used to say to me, “Find out what God is doing and get involved in THAT.”  This is what you’re doing in blessing.  You are partnering with God and affirming what HE is already doing in the life of a child.  By declaring it with your words, you give it the weightiness of spiritual authority. You are part of ‘calling it forth’. 
• A spoken blessing, at its most basic level, is a positive statement that invokes the blessing of God in the life of another person.
• Be consistent with blessing.  Most people will do this at night when they put their children to bed.  I have developed lullabies for each of my grandsons.  They reflect the intention of God’s purposes in their names.  For example, my oldest grandson is named Koen Rayner Smith.   His name was chosen based on meaning:  Wise and Courageous Warrior.  These are the attributes my son is calling forth in Koen through naming and blessing.  Each night, they sing the lullaby I wrote for him…..every night!  Don’t wait for a special occasion to speak blessing over your children.

You are wise, you are strong, you are courageous
To the Lord you belong, He is your strength
Koen Rayner, don’t be afraid
Koen Rayner, always be brave
You are wise you are strong, you are courageous
To the Lord you belong, He is your shield.

• When speaking blessing over your child lay your hands on him and make him look you in the eye.  Posturing is a biblical principle.  The reason we practice spiritual disciplines in our life is because they put us in the proper posture to hear from God.  Speaking blessing to your child regularly can reinforce this idea.  When blessing groups, it’s good to have them cup their hands in a posture to receive blessing.  Do you see the connection?
• Blessings are NOT prayers.  Your words are NOT being directed to God.  They are being directed to an individual.
• I don’t believe that words of encouragement are blessings.  Blessings are always positive and they should encourage the person.  But ‘you’re doing a great job and I’m sure the Lord is pleased with you’ is not a blessing.
• Use Bible Verses.  This should be a no brainer.  You can always use the priestly blessing of Numbers 6.  Paul has several great blessings for groups at the end of his letters.  2 Timothy 3:16, 17 says.” All scripture is God-breathed and is USEFUL for teaching, rebuking, correction, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good deed.”  I believe that ‘raising up a child in the way they should go’ has a lot to do with affirming them in their gifts and talents and God’s plans and purposes for their lives.  So, if God brings Scripture to mind in speaking blessing over  child as it relates to blessing, you can’t be too far off the mark.

Proverbs 10:11 says, “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.”  How do we harness words to speak life to those we love and more to those who have been entrusted to our care in this life?  How do we speak life to a lost and dying world?  Understanding the biblical foundations of speaking blessing will help in that.
Note:  For more information on Blessing lullaby’s for your children, contact [email protected]. 

I was very close to my mother.  When she passed on, I was privileged to lead the service for her funeral and share the eulogy.  While it IS about my mother, it is also about God's plan for life.   I'm sharing it here as a way to honor her and perhaps help you on your journey to the other side of life;  The real side of LIFE.


On behalf of my father, the children and our spouses and the grandchildren and great grandchildren present today, I say thank you for your attendance.  Sending your sympathies is nice. But showing your sympathies by being present is a gift to us.
 
-I’d like to read a passage of scripture as begin our time together today.  Like you, I have been to many funerals.  I’ve sung at funerals and officiated at funerals.  But not like this one; not to me.  In this case, I am somewhat grief illiterate I suppose.  Losing a parent is like being initiated into a club and it feels like I was just made president.  I would like to read a passage that speaks to me today:  John 14: 27, “My peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
 
My faith informs this experience today.  My faith is working today because of what I believe God’s Word says about what is happening here.  Jesus said, “I go to prepare a place for you.  In my father’s house are many rooms;  if that were not so, would I have told you that I’m going to prepare a place for you?”   I’m not making things up as I go.  What I believe is grounded in God’s Word which I have studied and experienced in my life for many years.  Some might say that faith is a crutch for those who can’t handle death.  But those of us who have experienced God’s faithfulness know it’s not.   It’s truth.  And if it doesn’t work in moments like this, it doesn’t work at all. 

 The eulogy of my mom’s life will take us to the kitchen today.  I don’t know if it was my mom’s favorite place, but it is certainly the place she spent the most time in her life.   I want to tell you more about Ruth.   But I would like to present it in a way best suited to who she was.  It’s a recipe.  We’ll call it “Ruthie’s Recipe”
 
We’ll gather up our ingredients:
 
Faithful Wife
Loving Mother and Mother-in-law
Doting Nana
 
These are all organic.  She was purely defined by who she was and not what she did.
 
I thought about what we would make today.  Should we cook or bake?   She did both so well.   But since it’s Ruthie’s recipe, it needs to be sweet.   We’re not going to compare my mother’s baking to your mothers.  You will LOSE.   She had NO RIVAL.  I’ve got two words for you:  CINNAMON ROLLS.  You’re done.  Home-made buns.  Stop It.  How many of your wedding cakes did she bake?  Who here has a recipe from her?  I rest my case.  Once she submitted her cake to the County Fair for judging.  She did not win.  She was disqualified because her iced roses were too perfect.  They thought the cake was store bought.  Store bought?  What an insult.
 
Let’s start our concoction with a  cup of craftiness.  Besides cake decorating in which she was an icing Picasso, she sewed, quilted, cross-stitched, did leather work, and made so many things with her hands.  Watching her make a trailing pine wreath from start to finish, was like watching an artisan ply their craft.  Once, she decided to try her hand at whittling.  Once.  She won a blue ribbon at the fair for her little creation.  Whittling.  Once.  She was an artist.
 
Next, we’ll add a spot of sports.  She never really had the opportunity to play sports in school, but she was athletic.  She was an infielder for Hopewell’s Women’s Slow-Pitch team.  She loved football following the Bobcats on Friday, the Nittany Lions on Saturday and the Steelers on Sunday.  And she was always at any sporting event her kids did.  I did wrestling and track.  Sandy played softball, basketball, and volleyball.  Eric and Jason played football.  She even came all the way down to Virginia to watch Ben win a national championship in Rugby and earn MVP of the game. 
 
Pour in a bit of sass.  Actually, a better word might be "devlishness".  Hard to believe such an angel could have a devlish streak.   Sweet and salty taste good together.   If you really wanted to see this on display, she needed to be with her sisters and especially with sissy la-la, Franny.  They were two peas in a pod and now they are together again. Lord, help them.   I’m sure they are finding a way to bend the rules in Squares or other table games.  She also loved to scratch……lottery tickets.  Once in blue moon, Maggie would take them to the casino.  Such a bad influence on my sweet mother.  Then, there’s the story about how my mom and dad almost won 10 and ½ million dollars.  One night when the lotto was high, my parents filled out a ticket with dates of birthdays.   There were two more kids and only one more slot.  Should it be 4 for Eric or 5 for Jason?  They thought about filling out two cards with the same first four numbers and then one with a 4 and one with a 5.   But, they decided to go with Eric and put down the 4.  The next day the numbers were read off and the first four numbers matched.  Mom got so excited that she clapped her hands and the television went off.  She had forgotten that we had a clap-on; clap-off remote.  What was the final number?  Turns out it was….5.  If they would have just gone with their favorite son, Jason, instead of Eric!!!  We would have won 10 ½ million dollars.  We’re still in therapy.   There were times when her devlishness got her in trouble too.  Grandpa McCrea told her not to ride the bike down the hill.  It didn’t have a chain and so no breaks.   But, he would never know.  He was gone.  So she took the bike down the hill.  Wheeee.  Until she saw him standing in the shed watching her go by.  Mom said it’s the only time she ever got spanked….and with a shovel.
 
Whip that together like she used to whip up those incredible dishes for family gatherings;  and she loved those.  Holidays, birthdays, picnics on the hill, McCrea Reunions, corn roasts, and more.
 
Taste the batter, like she would let us do when she was stirring up chocolate chip cookie dough.  Too Die For.  It’s an agreeable taste.  Agreeable.  That’s a good word for her. She had a likability factor.   She didn’t have an enemy, that I know of, unless it was one of dad’s old girlfriends who held a grudge.  I rarely if ever heard her talk ill of people.  She had opinions, but she wasn’t opinionated.  Thoughtful.  Sensitive.  I never heard her have a heated argument outside the home.  She was very much liked and very much loved by her entire family. 
 
Now to pour that into our pan we’ll need a funnel.  Why a funnel?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  I wrote a book called “The Funnel” about the meaning of life.  My thesis is you only define meaning in life by understanding eternity.  I’ve study this for 35 years of full-time ministry.  Maybe I have it right and maybe I don’t.   But the more I understand forever, the clearer the meaning of life becomes to me.  And my understanding is the relationship between now and forever is like a funnel.  But we’ve got it backwards thinking that life is the big end and eternity is the little end.  It’s upside down you see.  This (the narrow end) is life.  Jesus called it “The Narrow Way” and it was only through him and by him that you can enter heaven.  He called his disciples to follow him and be like him.  Living THAT way opens up a world that we can’t begin to imagine.

It may seem harder pouring life through that narrow way, but those that follow Jesus as his disciples are reminded I have come so that you may have ABUNDANT LIFE.  In this world you will have trouble.  But be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.
 
I don’t believe this because it makes me feel better about death.  I believe it because it makes me feel better about life.  For Jesus says The kingdom of God is at hand….NOW.  You don’t have to die to live in that Kingdom.  The only recipe you need to live that life is called the Roman Road Recipe:  Understand that you’re a sinner who needs a Savior.  Someone to save you from your sin nature and death.  Jesus did that on the cross,  He died for your sins and he rose again to defeat death.  Check.  Check.  Now.  Confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead and you WILL be saved.  I believe and I preach there is no other way.
 
Bake it for 85 years.  In sickness and health, richer, and poorer,  good times and bad times…LIFE.
 
You see, it’s not the end at all.  This world is a pressure cooker.  It’s nothing like what God created it to be.  It is an oven where we are being cooked to make something where all the ingredients that went into us come together to make something new.   But you won’t burn.  Not if you trust in Jesus…and I do.  Because at just the perfect time, when the bell goes off, JESUS open the oven door and everything that went into your life, comes out in FOREVER.  You smell that?  Angel Food. 
 
My mom loved to cook.  And I know there is food in heaven.  The Bible tells us again and again.  There may come a time when she cooks again, but not Now, she sits at the table and she feasts.  
 
Psalm 34: 5 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is GOOD”.  The Lord is GOOD indeed.
 
​My father in heaven;
 
You are GOOD.  You have shown us your goodness through the life of this wonderful soul.  Every artist who creates is a part of the creation.  We have seen YOU in her life.   GOODNESS.  Because she put her faith and trust in you, she joins her mother and father, Grandma and Grandpa Smith, Uncle Don Rook, Uncle Dick Smith, Lisa, Willis, Don, Lynn, Jim, Manny and her precious and dearly loved sister, Franny in heaven with you.  What a glorious concoction.   Your word says that you are the Father of lights and that every GOOD and PERFECT gift come from above.  We have seen it and we have experienced it in the life of my mother and we are GRATEFUL to you.  Full of THANKSGIVING.
 
Now may the peace of God which transcends all human understanding Guard the hearts and minds of those loved ones that are left behind; the people in this room and others who will naturally and rightfully grieve loss. Give to us that PEACE that only you can give through your Divine Spirit.   We will not only miss HER cinnamon rolls.  HER baking and cooking.  HER devlish grin; HER artistry; or HER cheering us on.  We will miss HER. 
 
In JESUS Name
 
AMEN.

My sweetest daughter-in-law got me a wonderful birthday preset this past year.   It's an online writing project called "Storyworth".  Once you sign up, you get a prompt each week for a year with a question that you answer about your life.  It is recorded on their site and then at the end of the year, you can turn it into a book.  Great idea!!!   This week the prompt was "Have you ever given or been the recipient of a random act of kindness?
That's an interesting question.   I haven't generally pondered over these questions long.  To keep in step with the writing schedule, I usually write about the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the prompt.   This is the first thing:

I was golfing at First Tee, which is my home course.  When I came back to my car, I noticed an envelope under the windshield wiper.   When I opened it,  there was a gift card for golf at First Tee and a most beautiful note:

Please accept this gift in honor of my grandfather, Robert Ludlow Sr.   He was a family man, a Navy veteran and an avid golfer.  He lost his battle with mesothelioma on December 10, 2016.  He left behind a wife of 57 years (together for 62) who also shared his love for golf.  I hope these rounds bring you as much happiness as it did them.  I only have two requests:

-Pay it forward to someone
-Go home and hug your family.

Signed:
A grieving granddaughter.

It was one of the most beautiful gestures I have ever been a recipient of and I've kept that note to remind me of that gift.  That was six years ago and I still think about it.  Just a thought that those kind of selfless and loving gestures go a long way.

​I was speaking to my friend Kay over the phone.  She’s  a recent widow.   I asked her if she was alone and she replied very matter-of-factly, “I’m never alone.”  She had been reading the Bible in the middle of the day.  “God is always with me” can almost be a Christian cliché.   We say it without the revelation of what it really means.  For Kay,  it is a reality that keeps her from not only feeling alone, it keeps her from BEING alone.  It’s not a crutch.  It’s her reality and it IS true for the Christian who is indwelt by the Holy Spirit.
 
For my birthday every year for the past five or six years,   I spend the day with God.  Does that sound odd?  It really  shouldn’t if we understand God’s Presence.   I had my time of birthday parties with friends and family, which were wonderful. But, it seems reasonable to celebrate the day you were born with the Person who made you. 
 
This is not an article about me being hyper-spiritual.   Pleeeeeeease….
 
It’s an idea that you may want to consider as part of a spiritual discipline;  one that has brought me some balance in my life.
 
It started several years ago when I went to the mountains with my friend and mentor, Hank Graeser.   He would lead me in many different forms of spiritual retreat.   It was once a year and  normally for only a few days.   No outside communication.  Lots of rest.  Bible study.  Silence.  Worship.  Hikes and meditation on God in nature.  He would teach me ways to study the Bible like Lectio Divina.  We read Dallas Willard and talked about the ancients and some of their disciplines.   It opened my eyes to the benefits of spiritual disciplines and their purpose in our Christian faith.  Nothing crazy…I promise.
 
One year, Willard had recommended an experience in his book, “Renovation of the Heart” called Presenting Your Body to God.   Basically, it’s rededication or recommitment of your SELF to God.  Since that first year, I have done it every year in the same place;  CRABTREE FALLS.  It’s a beautiful spot near the Blue Ridge Parkway outside of Charlottesville, VA.  You climb two miles to the top of the spillway and stand overlooking a majestic view of Virginia hardwoods nestled in the valley below.   In May, the water is still gushing from spring rains, making the majestic sound of the thunderous waterfall below you.   It reminds me of Psalm 93.  Standing near the falling water is like nature’s air conditioner on a warm day.  Perfect.   Did I mention the rhododendron and the mountain laurel are in bloom?  That’s where I go for this ‘sacred’ event. 
 
This is where you come in.  I have found this discipline so helpful that I wanted to share it with you for your consideration.   I’ve taken some liberties with the original idea as it has evolved for me over the last many years.   Here’s a working outline:
 
Find a spot.  It needs to be quiet and a place you can focus.   Of course, when you are hyper as I am, you make the best of it.  I find mountains holy.  I know that the reference is not the same (theologically) but I consider Psalm 121, which is…ironically, part of the Psalm of Ascents.   The Psalms were spoken on the temple steps as people made their way into the courtyard.  “I lift up my eyes to hills.  From where does my help come from?   My help comes from the Lord, the Make of heaven and earth.”   The Psalm is a reference to the high places where the priests of Asherah would set up their ‘altars’ .  They were idolatrous places and reminder to all that help didn’t come from idols.  Still…..
 
You may consider the beach, a room in your home, your back yard, a prayer closet, etc.   I will add that traveling to that spot makes the whole experience more intentional;  an odyssey.  Crabtree Falls is 2 ½ hours from my home.  I love the drive to that place through the mountain ranges and high into the hills.   It gives me time to prepare and I have to plan for the trip.  It’s a commitment.
 
And God goes with me.   There it is again.  He always goes with me.  But like my friend Kay said, I am never really alone and on these trips I’ve very aware and consciously engaged with the fact that He Is Present.   I have a friend who talks about the man who taught him to pray.  My friend said that the man sat him down and then placed a chair in front of him.   The man said to pretend that God was in that chair and speak to him.  That’s prayer.  Oh…and take time to listen.  It’s a conversation.
 
So I sing and we talk.   Does that sound weird?  It doesn’t if you understand Presence.   By the way, the ultimate book on this subject is by Brother Lawrence, “Practicing the Presence”.   He was a Carmelite monk that lived during the Reformation period who was well known for his unique and abiding relationship with God. 
 
Once I am at the site and relaxed, I begin my annual ceremony with a prayer of dedication.   “Lord, I am here to dedicate my whole self to you again.  I am thankful for your faithfulness in my life, expressed through everything that I need.  You have given me life and I want to use it to serve you.  My body is your dwelling place.  I consecrate this spot through your Holy Spirit and declare it sacred for the purpose of recommitting my body to you today.”  How’s that for a start?
 
Then, I follow Willard’s circle of transformation from his book, “Transformation of the Heart.”   The journey is ‘inside out”.   By the way, this whole process only needs to be as long as you want it to be.  I usually take about an hour for the actual ‘dedication’.  It takes me the rest of the day to get there and back.  So the route is:
 
Heart/Will
Mind
Body
Social Circles
Soul
 
Heart/Will:   We start at the center of it all, the heart.   All of Jesus’ teachings deal with the heart.  He turned the religious world upside down by taking their laws and turning them into heart attitudes.   Oddly enough, the heart is the only part of our being that is transformed by God directly.  Jesus has done that work for us on the cross.  No one comes to the Father except through the Son (Jesus) and that is the work of the Holy Spirit;  Go Team Trinity.  In other words,  God does all of this when you say “Come, Lord Jesus”.     And once the Holy Spirit has come into your heart, it is sealed.   You can quench and grieve Him.   But he’s not leaving.  So, I use this place as a time of thanksgiving.   I remind myself that He has captured Me and not the other way around.  God was never lost.   
 
Mind:  This is the battleground.   It is the first place of spiritual warfare.  You really are what you think.  In wars today, battles are being won and lost based on who controls the narrative.  My son is in an officer in PSYOPS, Psychological Operations.   The wars of today and the future are being fought on this front.  The point is that spiritual wars are also won and lost here.
 
Romans 12: 2 says, “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”    The transformation of the mind comes through the work of the Holy Spirit and the disciplines of knowing God’s Word:  Scripture memory; Bible reading and study; meditation on God’s Word.  You can’t recognize the lies unless you know the Truth.  Despite all naysayers in the world,  the Bible IS truth.  It must be.  It is the Word of God.  Don’t overthink it.   But until you believe that (BY FAITH), you’re lost.  Don’t waste your time reading on.
 
And so, I ask God for the renewal of my mind away from worldly thinking.   I ask for wisdom, starting with the fear of the Lord.   I consider Philippians 4: 8-9:  “Finally, whatever is true, noble, right, perfect, lovely, admirable, if anything is praiseworthy or excellent, THINK about these things.”   The way I think is my world view.   Many of these ‘thoughts’ are wrong, but they are automatic.   Jesus said “REPENT”.   What he meant was, “You’re THINKING about this wrong.   Change the way you’re thinking.”  There are thoughts we all have that are contrary to the Word of God.  We are not even aware of some of these.  They are as automatic as breathing.  But rededicating yourself to God assures you that the Spirit will start to reveal things to you about the way you think.  Get ready.  You’ll be amazed.
 
Body:  Okay.  This is the big one and I think it’s the thing churches today miss the most.  Discipleship is not something we do well anymore.  It’s so much easier to present the Gospel and move on.  Evangelist do a fine job and are very necessary.  But Jesus spoke MUCH MORE about being His disciple.  You see?  There it is again.  Evangelism without Discipleship is just a Gospel of Sin Management. And so, we must engage in the battle with the flesh.
 
Romans 7: 22, 23 says, “For in my inner being, I delight in God’s law. but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.”
 
The flesh is strong and the strongholds of the enemy, rest in your ‘members’.  Evil is very hard to sort out of your body.  You are no longer a slave to sin as a child of God.  However, the sin in your members (flesh) doesn’t just go away;  not without a fight.   These automatic responses originated as coping mechanisms to help you make sense of the pain and rejection you felt as a child.   Some of the best material I’ve heard on this subject is a podcast called “The Place We Find Ourselves”  with Adam Young Counseling.  Episodes 42 and 43 are very insightful.
 
What you are thinking manifests as reactions in your body.   Once you have done them long enough, they become reflexes.  They are automatic.  To dislodge them takes the work of the Holy Spirit AND a disciplinarian.  God will not do this without you.  Nothing changes when nothing changes.
 
I start with my head and I work my way down to my toes.  I mention a list that is external limbs and internal organs.  I ask for healing, protection, and renovation.   I speak the blood of Jesus over my entire body.  This past year, I have developed a problem with arthritis in my fingers.   I spent an extra amount of time on my hands this year.   I speak life with the authority I have living as royalty in the Kingdom of God.   I speak against death and destruction and disease.  I claim God’s promises for my body according to His Word .  You get the picture.  This, however, is my only itemized list.   This is also a good spot to ‘cover’ your body with Armor of God from Ephesians 6. 
 
Social Circles are the friends you’re keeping and the circles you run in.  Being transformed into the image of God will/should eventually shape the friends you keep.  (Proverbs 12:26)  I normally do not spend a lot of time here other than to ask God to shape relationships that matter for the kingdom of God and eternity.   The idea of ‘soul’ according to Willard is an all-encompassing term for being.  
 
The people of Israel were required to make three pilgrimages to Jerusalem a year as part of their spiritual life.   I consider this exercise as one of those journeys for me in the present age.   It’s a centering trip;  a day of thanksgiving, reflection, and rededication.  Since it’s the start of a new ‘year’ of sorts, I consider it an offering of ‘first fruits’, like the Feast of First Fruits in the Bible and I can assure you God will bless it throughout the year.  I know He has in my life. 
 
 

Note:  This is NOT an easy read for the casual reader.   If you're interested, sit down, get your Bible, take some notes and meditate on this blog.   I hope you enjoy it.)

It’s Easter week and one of my favorite stories is about the penitent thief in Luke 23.    The stories of this man are also in Matthew and Mark who both include accounts of how THIS particular thief was at one point mocking Jesus from the cross.  So, we know that he was a criminal and was being crucified for his crime(s).   And we know that he was not a believer until the very end of his life.    I would consider this is a death-bed conversion.   This is the story of someone who has a dramatic conversion at the end of their life right before they die.   There seems to be little doubt that he was ‘saved’;  a word that Christians throw around without really knowing what it means.  
 
Let’s talk about that for a moment.  What was he ‘saved’ from?   Can you articulate the answer to that question?   Sometimes, I think we use it without considering what it actually means.   The Greek word is Soteria, from which we get our word, soteriology  which is the theology of being saved.   It means a commemoration event or in expectation of deliverance from a crisis; in a specific sense the word was often used in reference to large-scale commemorative festivals held at planned intervals.  It’s about deliverance. 
 
In fact, Jesus death saved us from sin.   John 1: 22 says, “He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”  John the Baptist called him “the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.”   1 Peter 1:19 says we were delivered “by the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”   There’s more.   But it has to do with the holiness of God and our faith, by grace, in Christ’s death, that takes away our sins.   
 
But what else?   He saved us from death or that part of death which would eternally separate us from God.  He did this when he defeated death at his resurrection.
 
O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?
For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power.  But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.  (1 Cor 15: 55-57)
So ,the thief was saved from sin and death.   By the death and resurrection of Jesus, he could live with God forever.   Is that what happened?  Do you hesitate at all when considering the fate of this thief?   If so, why?   Many people would say (emphatically), “It’s just not fair!”  That’s what a friend of mine said recently when considering the fate of people who don’t live good lives or even live bad lives and then turn to Christ on their death bed and get ‘saved’. 
This thief’s tory reminds me of several other stories in scripture:
-Paul’s conversion on the road to Damascus (Acts 9).
-The prodigal son story in Luke 15: 11-32
-The parable of the lost sheep or lost coin (or lost son) in Luke 15.
But my favorite story is the parable of the vineyard owner in Matthew 20.  In this account, a vineyard owner hires workers for the day at a certain amount.   Later in the day, he hires more workers and then later on, more.   When the work is done, the workers line up for their pay, starting with those hired last and going back to those hired first.   Those who were hired last got the full amount as those who were hired first but only worked a small portion of the day.   When questioned about the ‘fairness’ of this, the owner simply responds, ‘it’s my money and so if I want to be generous, what is that to you?’   Still, the echo, “it isn’t fair”.   
Romans says that if you want to be saved you must:
-Confess you’re a sinner (Romans 3:23)
-Recognize that your sin separates you from God forever.  (Romans 6:23)
(These two points together require an act of ‘repentance’ or acknowledgement of our position as being hopelessly lost.)
-Jesus died for my sins as a way to save me from sin and eternal separation from God. (Romans 5:8)
-Confess with your mouth, “JESUS IS LORD” and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead and you will be saved.”  (Romans 10: 9,10)
Did the thief do this?   He said, “We are being punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve.”  CHECK.   He as much acknowledges the reality that they should die for their sins.  CHECK.  “Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom.”   He may not have understood the ‘soteriology’ of what was happening, but his confession of faith in the person of Jesus Christ, who was dying next to him for HIS (thief’s) sin nature, was enough.  Because Jesus tells him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”   CHECK.  Not only was he saved that day, he may have been the first person to enter PARADISE. 
This is a sidebar, but it’s worth noting.   NO one was in ‘paradise’ at this point in time.  The righteous saved were in a place referred to as “Sheol, Hades, or Abraham’s Bosom”  (Luke 16).  When Jesus died, he DESCENDED to this holding place and made himself known as the Great I AM.  Since it is only by the name of Jesus that men can be saved (Acts 4:12),  those righteous saints had to believe in Jesus who made himself known to them. (1 Peter 1: 18-20).  He then led the ‘captives’ free to Paradise.  Accordingly, the conversation between Jesus and thief may have gone something like this:
Jesus:  Hang out here until I go and get your brothers and sisters.  I’ll be back soon.
It is conceivable that this thief was the very first person to actually enter ‘paradise’.  (Note:  The word for ‘Paradise’ in the Greek is NOT the same word used for heaven.  We tend to refer to ‘heaven’ a lot without really understanding what/where it is.)
That will turn your head upside down, won’t it?  There can be no doubt that the man was saved because Jesus declared it so.   And it is the very heart of God that no one should die and be separated from him forever.  John 3:16 says as much.   Hell was not created for people.  It was created for demons.   God does not send anyone to Hell.   They choose to go there.  
What in the world happened to change this man’s mind in such a short time?   How could he possible put his hope in a man who was dying next to him.  Regardless of what Jesus claimed to be, all seemed hopeless.   Well, didn’t it?  The people on the ground there thought so.  The religious leaders thought so.  Even the disciples thought so.  Satan thought so.  Why would this man think differently? 
First of all, the Bible clearly says that no one comes to Jesus unless God draws them.  (John 6:44).  So, ultimately, it was a work of God.  Still, the man couldn’t help but amazed by:
-“Forgive them father, for they know not what they do”
-The sign over his head said, “Here Is the King of the Jews”
-People sneered at him. The guards mocked him.  The religious leaders hurled insults.  He said nothing.  “He went like a sheep before his shearers…” (Is 53).
-His mother and followers at the foot of the cross were a testimony to his life and ministry.
The centurion who stood at the cross would later say, “Surely, this was the Son of God.”  (Matthew 27:54).  He knew it.   Somewhere along those three hours of hanging on that cross, the thief knew it too.  Thanks be to God.  Even in death, Jesus’ compassion for us never failed.     What a magnificent demonstration of grace.
One of the amazing stories about Easter is that no matter what you’ve done or who you are, Jesus died on the cross for you.
But going back to my friend’s response….
It’s just not fair.
Let me say this:   I would NOT want to be that thief. 
Salvation is a verb.  It’s a process.  You are not just saved.  You are being saved.  You will be saved.   Salvation is three phases really:   Justification, Sanctification, Glorification.
Regarding the first, Romans 4: 14, 15 says, “Now, when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation.   However, to the man who does not work but trust God who justifies the wicked, this faith is credited as righteousness.”   You see, what we deserve is death.   We can not ‘do’ anything to ‘earn’ salvation.   “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”  Ephesians 2:8.  You see, my friend is wrong when he applies the notion of ‘work’ or ‘earning’ to justification.  
 
However, there is a part of the salvation process that we must ‘work’ or ‘earn’ what justification brings.   That part is ‘sanctification’ and it requires that we partner with the Holy Spirit to become more and more like Jesus.  It is the narrow way and it requires our full and active participation or it will produce NOTHING in you.    I have much to say about this in my book, “The Funnel:  Framing Your Life in View of Eternity”.  And it really is the matter of a whole book to discuss.  Glorification comes when we move on to eternity.
 
What happened to that thief and why wouldn’t I want to be him?  Because heaven is not it’s only reward.   Oh, it’s VERY good.  But there’s so much more to heaven than just getting there.  If that is your goal, you live by a gospel of sin management, as Dallas Willard describes it in his book, “The Divine Conspiracy.”  And you play Russian Roulette with your eternity.   Do you want to take that chance?  Can you time it so that you can have a ‘death bed conversion?’  I know three people who died in car accidents THIS WEEK.   Let me know how that goes for you. 
 
Becoming a Christian is so much more than going to heaven.   First of all, eternity doesn’t begin when you die.   It begins the moment you accept Christ as your Savior and step into the “Kingdom Among Us.” ---(That’s Willard again!).  You learn to live a victorious and abundant life now and not when you die.   The thief may have had a saved soul, but he had a LOST LIFE.   Solomon says, “Remember God when you are young.”  (Eccl 12:1)  Why?   Because eternal life starts the moment you ask Jesus to save you from your sin and receive the Holy Spirit in your life to help you learn what it means to live in the Kingdom now!  It’s eternity…here.   You can not live a victorious and abundant life in THIS world apart from the Holy Spirit.   And don’t even get me started about what that means when you die.   What if the character you die with is the character you go to heaven with?   Your character matters.   If it didn’t, Jesus would have said so.  And he spoke a lot more about discipleship than he did about salvation.  
 
Is it fair that he got into heaven?  Yes.  Did he deserve it?  None of us do.  Would I want to be him in eternity?   Definitely not.  He is going to be sad and frustrated that he didn’t follow God’s plan sooner.  (Yes there IS room for this type of sadness and frustration in the spirit realm.  Read the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25.)   I am working on character because I am going to rule and reign with Christ in the Millennial Kingdom and then for eternity after that.   I am living in the Kingdom of God now.   As Colossians says,  my heart AND my mind are focused on things of heaven and not earth.  Thank you Jesus for making yourself known to us.  Thank you for dying for my sins.   Thank you for defeating death and making a way (the only way) for me to live with God in heaven forever.   Happy Easter.
 

I recently heard that Jane Marczewski died last week after a 5-year battle with cancer.  You may have heard of her as “Nightbirde”. She competed on the 16th season of America’s Got Talent as was awarded the Golden Buzzer for singing an original piece called “It’s Okay.”  If you have never watched that clip of her performance, I encourage you to do so. 
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZJvBfoHDk0&ab_channel=America%27sGotTalent
 
It’s 7:32 of bliss.  In that amount of time, I went from my chair to the Garden of Gathsemene, to the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, and then straight to the throne of God.   I’ve watched it many times since and I have always been blessed.   The final scenes of her audition are the image I have of the Judgement Seat of Christ.
 
I won’t get this all correct, but when she died last week, she was 31.  She had gone in and out of cancer three times, been through a difficult divorce and had her dreams of being a singer/songwriter…what do I say…interrupted?  And here she was.  A SHINING witness of hope and joy.  After hearing her story at the audition, which was probably more than she ever intended telling anyone, she radiated with the ‘smoke’ of someone who was truly….borrowing a word from Howie Mandel…authentic.  Her witness was so much more than her words.  She was genuine. 
 
Following her since, I have found a few ‘quick quotes’ from Jane for all of us to PONDER.
 

• I am so much more than the bad things that have happened to me.
• You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore until you decide to be happy.
• Two percent chance of survival is not zero.
• Just because someone leaves you doesn’t mean that love isn’t real.
• It’s easy to put your identity in one thing.
• Some people can’t see God because they won’t look low enough
• There are a lot of people who want to hope for something in their life, but are afraid to.

Of specific note is the sixth bullet point which she talks more extensively about in a blog on her website called “God Is On the Bathroom Floor”.  No one could write that article unless they had been on the bathroom floor to find Him there. 
 
Dear Jane.
 
Thank you for not being afraid.
 
Jeff

Everyone once in a while something happens that makes you go, ‘huh?”.  I met Benny at the gym today.  I was working on crunches and apparently making some noise.  He stared at me until I had to acknowledge him and finally asked if I needed him to call an ambulance.   Turns out Benny is 91.  I would never have guessed that. I might have said mid-70s.  So, I was interested enough to engage him for a little while.  In the conversation, Benny told me several things which were very interesting:
 
1.Benny had cancer in his lymph nodes in his late 80s.  They told him they wouldn’t do anything about because of his age, so he got a new doctor.  During the chemo, he said he went to Wendy’s and got chocolate Frostys.  He would drink one before chemo, one after chemo and on that night.  He never had a problem and swears it was the Frostys.

2.Laughter is medicine.  Laugh a lot if you want to live a long life.

3.Work your mind.  He told me about the trips he would take to Outer Banks in the Carolinas.  He would make up math games to play while he was driving.  Now, I can’t figure this out, but he talked about figuring out how many times the wheels were turning a mile.  Then, he would try and figure out how many times the wheels turned as he was driving through a particular state.  Then, he would shift the speed and do it all again.  I didn’t follow much of that, but the point was, keep your mind moving because it shrinks as you get older.  That’s what Benny said.

4.Actually, his name was “Hey Benny”.   He worked in marketing and when he would go to these big cities someone would eventually recognize him on the street and call out ‘Hey Benny”.  The guys at work thought it was funny and so they changed his name to “Hey Benny.”  I don’t know if there’s a space between the two names?
 
That’s it.  Nothing too profound.  But, if I guy looks that good at 91, he deserves a little respect and worth my time.  By the way, I noticed he had about an hour work out on some pretty strenuous equipment.  Dear Lord, I want to look as good as Benny when I’m that age!  Keep laughing....and drink Frostys.
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